Burky's Blog

Oh my.  It really feel different not to have a computer.  My computer got virus while checking message on Facebook and I am trying to save my money for my vacation in Great Smokies over Halloween weekend.  So that means I will not spend my money trying to get my computer repaired.  (I'm using my sister's computer and go to library's computers to check emails and Facebook)

 

And that is not all...

 

On way home from my last trip to PA, my back left tire blew.  So my car is on spare tire.

 

Few bills came up.  One has a deadline.

 

Ah, I am feeling that the darkest hour is just before the dawn.  I prayed and prayed for help.  So far I haven't gotten any.  But I am not quitting.

 

My biggest dream or desire is to be able to have direct communication with God.  I read about it, and I believe it can be done.  Even today.  That is the main reason why I am not publishing my book yet.  I want a clear directive from God.

 

I told my mother that I always felt my family is awkward.  It seems like we have some "demons" among us.  My family mainly don't have much faith.  I am trying, but I fear to get out of boat into the unknown and stormy sea.  I know you think that is scandalous for me to say so, but that is my feeling.  That's why I desperately feel need for God's coaching.  Besides, I like the idea of doing right things all the time.  Not only that, I also love the idea of having open communication with the Creator of the Universe.  According to one experience I read about, God's voice is peace-penetrating. 

 

Just imagine asking God for direct answers, and you hear it from Him.  I have been dreaming about making a computer that are available to everyone.  I mean, why do we need to pay monthly for Internet access?  Or why do we need to pay electric bills?  I am dreaming for self-sufficiency.  When we can have those things for free and they work, then there are less chance for anyone else to control us.  We have more control over our activities.

 

There are information on how to have free electricity.  We may have heard of solar generators, fuel generators, or windmill.  I recently found another information: magnetic generators.  Just suppose if I could make magnetic generator small and light enough to fit into laptop, imagine not needing adapter to charge up the battery!  Another one I never heard before, but heard from Gilson Eby for the first time: geothermal generators.  The heat from the earth generates electricity!  What about the heat from computer motor?

 

I suppose you all think I am having wild dreams.  I always dream big.  It makes me feel alive.  I always love improving things. 

 

I dream of providing a job to my deaf friends in Belize, yet I am torn between living in America and in Belize.  My conclusion is why not have two homes?  Live one place 6 months and then next place other 6 months!  My deaf friends in America are more my type...we can talk our level to each other, while in Belize, I had to step down a bit.  But I love the weather in Belize...never needing to wear a coat!  Plus, going barefoot is healthy, according to one doctor.

 

Yet, all these things cost money.  That is something I never have.  I always was a poor manager with my money.  That is another reason I feel need for God's help.  Of course, I think about I should find a wife who would help me with that.  I figured the reason why I am bit restless, is because I don't have anyone at home who enjoy same things I do.  My family believes in working more than playing together.  And when we do have family times, my family more quickly talk than sign which leaves me feeling out of picture.

 

That's why I love my gang.  That's why I wish to live in PA...in my own home!  Plus, there are two deaf churches in Lancaster County as well as few others who provides interpreting services.

 

Oh dear, I am talking too much.  I should shut up.  I wrote two letters for my E-Newsletter group, but didn't send them, because I fear controversary.  I finally concluded that people learn about God and understand the Bible in their own way.  If I encourage individualism, then I should respect others and their way of understanding their Bible.  What we all agree on is the primary focus of Christianity...love God with our whole being and that Jesus is the cornerstone of the church.  Go down the church history, and you would see that not one church problem is based on Jesus Christ.

 

I just finish reading Pilgrim Church.  You can buy that book from Christian Light Publication.  I don't know if they still sell it now, but that is where I bought it when I still work there.  Yeah, I had that book all those years, but never get around reading the whole way through until now.  Now I am reading  Mennonites in Canada.  That is another book I had in my collection for years but never read--until now.

 

Pilgrim Church is very fascinating book.  What stood out to me is about Waldenseses (sp?) and about George Fox.  Waldenseses are the continuation from the time of apostles and they have high toleration to each other's views.  George Fox noticed there is a verse in the Bible, "The anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him."  (1 John 2:27)  I point out that verse to the ministry last Bible Study, and they didn't think it means what it says.  I ask them is that how they would understand it if they are reading it for the first time, without any prior Christian upbringing.  Of course, they try to shift the conversation to other points.

 

After the conversation I had with the ministry, I had deep-seated peace and when I arrived home, I decided to read a chapter from Pilgrim Church before going to sleep.  Again, I experienced confirmation that I understood the Bible correctly!  I thought how interesting it is, that evening I felt a bit (only a tiny bit!) unsettled from our discussion, and reading a book about church history put me at rest.  It is not the first time, and I hope it won't be last!  I wrote few e-newsletters ago, that every time when I start to question my own views, I get reconfirmed.  It happens so often that I am now firmly settled.  That is why I may seem unteachable.  Because of 1 John 2:27, I like to tell my friends, I WANT TO BE TEACHABLE IN ORDER TO BECOME UNTEACHABLE!

 

Thanks for your prayers.  Despite of what is happening in my life, I am excited about my future.  And thanks all of you for your updates on your lives.  When I can, I would like to answer each of you individually. 

 

David Oberholzter and Rachel Raber...because of my tire, I may not be able to go to Youth Bible School.  One way I can do is to borrow my sister's car to go to PA.  Just letting you know, so David would check his email shortly before November 6-8 weekend to be sure if I am coming or not.  Thanks!

--
Omar Burkholder
"Burky"