August 16, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Dear Friends;
It has been a long time since I last wrote an update on my life. You see, I have been writing to those who read my book, but I haven't wrote to those who are interested in the latest of my life.
What "force" me to write this letter is because I want to record my car's mileage flipped to 77 thousand at 8:47 AM on Route 283, just west of Rheemstown Mennonite Church which is part of Eastern Pennsylvania Mennonite Conference. When? I don't remember. I do remember it was when I was on way home from Lancaster County. Is it in April? Or was it in June? I would have to look in my journal to see when that possibly be.
Now I am going to throw that paper away. I am cleaning up my room, because never know when those damsels may popped in to visit. Today, I discovered that I did have black ink after all. I was thankful for an extra room under my printer. I even am thinking of throwing away those business cards that I ordered for myself long time ago. Now almost all information on it is outdated.
Ok, I did some ironing and then clean up my room. Now for rare moment, my room is tidy. Everything is in place.
It is few days, well few weeks, since I last written. July 24, 2009 is the name of this file, so apparently, that is when I left off. Today is August 15, 2009.
Yesterday, my car's mileage flipped to 77,780. Perhaps this news isn't much significant to you, readers, but only for my record-keeping. You see, this letter will be a blog as well. I am writing a letter/e-mail while at same time keeping my journal.
Perhaps I should write a book about my life. I have written a book, but I receive too much criticism from my sister that I felt my book shouldn't be published. But that is not the only reason. I am re-reading the book, Love Without End: Jesus Speaks by Glenda Green and felt my book so inadequate compared to that book. Not only that, I am also reading Christ In You. While I was in Belize, I also read The Quiet Mind. Recently, I read the book by Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. Those books all teach the same thing as my book was trying to teach. The only difference is the key point: my book is trying to point out that all men have inner knowledge of good and evil. In other words, I am trying to make the teaching of the Bible accessible to all, even if they never read the Bible. Yet, if you read Eternity In Their Hearts, you would see it does have fundamental idea my book is trying to portray.
And also, I came to my own conclusions because I felt insufficient to be a novelist, my coveted title. In order to increase knowledge as to remove my feeling of scarcity, I came across different information that can help my novel-writing skills. I have learn about different personalities and felt I can keep my characters in line of their personalities. Plus, at same time, I realize what make each personality tick and what the Bible really teaches how to "put heaven on earth".
I am thankful that by this date, I am still firm believer and staunch Christian for a year. I felt this calls for celebration, but I admitted that it is difficult to know what specific date to pinpoint when exactly my enlightenment occurred. Is it August 12 or 13 or 14? All I can say it is mid-August 2008.
I would admit that my exuberance of Christian living fluctuate at times since that day. My absolute confidence is in Jesus Christ that He saves me and He will keep me in the palm of His hand. Nothing can move me, not even what other "wiser" Christian may tell me. It don't matter if some think me as unteachable because that is the promise of 1 John 2:27.
In fact, if anyone think me as unteachable, then chances they are too. After all, I firmly believe that this world is our mirror. How we view others is the same way we are ourselves. I have too many experiences in my life that confirms my conviction of that truth. Whenever and whatever you see in others, check yourself first! That goes true to if we suspect spiritual pride in others. That is why every time when I feel critical of others, I immediately think about myself. What if I am the same way? If I think America is the best country to live in, chances a Guatemalan native think well of his own country as well. After all, Jesus point out if we see mote in our brother, we must first remove the beam in our eyes. Whenever I see exuberance of Christian living in others, I celebrate with them. Whenever I see others' absolute trust in Christ, regardless of what appearance they are in, I celebrate with them. I am more quick to call them my brothers and sisters in Christ than those who judge others.
Even if I sinned at times and repented, I realize that sin is not something to avoid. What to avoid is falling out of love with God. If the greatest commandment is to love God wholeheartedly and we are to love our enemies, then I believe our primary focus of mere living should be all about loving. If we do or say anything that squelch the feeling of peace and serenity, then why continue? If we have the "blah" feeling, let us immediately seek restoration of love and peace.
Yeah, I rejoice with Jesus when He said, "I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes." (Matthew 11:25 and Luke 10:21)
One thing I have learned since a year ago is that everyone learn at their pace. There will be too many people disagreeing with my book, but it is because they haven't learn yet. I must be patient with them and respect their free will. Like I say in my book, it is not my job to force. I may wish, I may desire, that others will see the perfect law of liberty as liberated believers sees it, but I cannot force nor can I coax others to see it as I see it. In fact, with their different personality makeup, they may be called to live differently than I do.
Like my friend I suspected that he is still Pharisaical simply because of his comments against me, I see that it is his personality that makes him want to do things right. My personality makes me to be a life of the party and to sit where they sat. My method don't sit well with my friend. He even went as far as emailing me his concerns about certain friend of ours. I even suspected that he is blaming me for my influence, even if he may protest against that idea. He may even be lying to himself and don't know it, but I am not concerned. I simply trust that God will have everything worked out.
One biggest issue that I need some work is that I always constantly put people in corner. I don't like that and I suspect that is why so many people felt it is spiritual pride on my part. For this reason, I have to forgive myself and others daily and try to think twice before I talk the next time. To the offended party, I am sorry and want to thank all of you for your very forgiving attitude toward me.
Oh my, here I go, talking my steam about my spiritual observations and experiences. I am not really relating to my day-by-day life, at least worthy to be in my journal.
I let Bishop Larry Weber to read my book. I have told him and few others that I want to meet him after he read my book. He quickly agreed and arranged Bible study with me on weekly basis. I went to Richard Lehman's house in the evening of August 3, only to find an empty driveway. The following weekend found me in Kansas.
Oh how I love the weekend in Kansas. It was a pure bliss, a time of joy. We had fun chatting and catching up with the news. It is a blessing for me to be among all who speak in sign language. I even get to meet my kindred spirit, Maynard Bauman, there. It was a joy to talk with him. Even though he don't agree with everything in my book, I still see that he and I agreed on the fundamentals of Christian living. In that, I rejoice and called him my blessed brother in Christ. It was such a joy to talk with him that I was bit disappointed when we ran out of things to talk about.
I went on a walk early Saturday morning. Oh, it is such a blissful experience to walk under the warm, inviting sunlight at the dawn. I sat for a while, gazing into the sun. I felt so synchronized with the universe. Like I already suspected, the book Love Without End: Jesus Speaks mentions about Jesus pointing out to Glenda that everything is created by God. Everything has God's spirit in them. There is only one spirit that if we would recognize everything as in synchronicity, we will be whole. Because of that book, I try to observe everything around me keenly and with awareness. Like Eastern religions, I try to observe the hidden patterns in the animal kingdom as well as plants.
When I watch the children play in Kansas, I saw that boys and girls play together really nicely. They play together in total innocence. If Jesus say we are to be like children, then why are we so segregated from each other?
Friday evening, few of them went canoeing in the Ninnescah River. I didn't know where they went, so I went to bed. After few winks, I went back to pavilion and found them playing cards and few games. Then I enjoyed then evening until I bunked at 11:00 PM.
Saturday morning, I went on a walk. I wish I have sandals, so I could walk on stones. But I love that walk; it is relaxing and peaceful. Later on that Saturday morning we played few good games of volleyball. I took a brief nap, and enjoyed the peace and quiet of the dorm.
The meals we had at Camp Mennoscah was delicious. After lunch, we played few games in the river. It was fun to wrestle with the ball, while trying to keep balance as you try to run around in the half-way-over-the-ankle deep river. That eventually tired us out, so we went back to the pavilion and enjoyed passing around the atomic balloon.
Saturday evening, we enjoy visiting and snacking on the popcorn popped in the old-fashioned iron pot over the fire. After we are done with popcorn, when the sun is set, the raccoon came out to clean up the popcorn left on the ground. It was fascinating to see the wild raccoon up close. We even got to see it in the trash cans and it even went into the trap. It cleverly step around the trigger that would make the trap door go down. By Sunday morning, the popcorn was all cleaned by popcorn and we found the rat caught in the trap. Joseph Shirk eventually freed the rat over the falls at the river dam, which was build in 1936.
Sunday morning is another beautiful morning in Kansas. I love the wind that constantly blow over the Kansas prairie. Few of us shopped for Camp Mennoscah souveniors, and I got a history book about the camp. That's just me: I always try to see if I could get the history book about any specific point of interest that I have had visited. Close second, if not together, I like getting shot glasses. But of course, Camp Mennoscah is Mennonite-owned, so shot glasses would be unthinkable.
Jay read about Heaven and Rodney preached a bit, then he showed the video of Bible in ASL. I love the book of John, so it is interesting to watch a young boy translating the Bible into ASL. I wish to own a copy if I could find one within my means.
After church, we clean up the camp and get ready to leave. Many of us left for home directly after lunch, but others of us went back to Rodney Yoder's home and enjoy a dip in his small on-the-ground pool. I got sunburned. I knew I was out in the sun, being shirtless, too long, so I went back into the house to cool off. Of course, I checked my email and Facebook as much as I can on daily basis even in Kansas. Thanks to Rodney for Internet access at his home!
Finally after munching around, when it is time for Leon and Paul to leave for Wichia airport, Jay and I finally left for home. It was a long, long drive home. Fortunately, Jay and I decided to stop overnight at motel. It was a nice motel with breakfast included.
We finally got to Leon's about 10 PM and I slept overnight at Leon's. Then on Tuesday morning, I went home. I stop first at Walmart, because I was so frustrated with the wallet my sister gave me. I knew she has best intentions, and I thank her for that, but I just don't like the gift itself. I like the motives and the giver, isn't that enough? I got myself exactly the same kind of wallet I had before I lost it in Belize.
Then I browsed through the Borders, looking for low-carb high-protein cookbook. They don't have it available in stock; I would have to order it. I backed out from buying, thinking maybe library would have few for us to look at. Sharpsburg Library surprised me by having only one at hand, and I hope to see more at other branch libraries, especially Hagerstown Library, which is the main library of our county. (Thank God for libraries!)
I finally got home about 3 PM Tuesday.
I am looking forward studying the Bible with the ministry. I suspect Larry had this idea, because he felt that I am brainwashed. At least that is my speculation. Even so, I trust that God have the purpose in this whole planning, and I am looking forward to the unfolding of God's plan.
That's all for now...yesterday is Curtis Horning's birthday, and I forget how old he is. I am looking forward to August 22, when I have two parties to attend. From 2 to 4PM is the tool party for Michael Musser. They would have bridal party for his girlfriend, Rhianne, at the same place for the girls. Then from 4PM is the cookout at Curtis and Paula Horning's place. I suspect I would enjoy Curtis and Paula's party more, because there would be more deaf people and everyone would talk in sign language. I expect to be home Monday. Probably in time for Bible study that evening...if Larry still plans for it.
Ah, at last, I got this letter written. August 15, 2009. I miss my mid-morning snack, and now it is lunchtime, and my stomach is growling.
Some of you will get doubles of this, simply because I am sending this to my "Book Reader" list as well as my "E-newsletter" list. This will be my last email to "My Book Reader" list.
Every time when I begin to question the validity of my book, I get reassured. When I begin to wonder if my book contains false teaching, I get confirmed from other books or messages I heard in church that I got the idea right. When people share their thoughts and feelings about my book, I felt no need to correct them. The answer usually is already in my book. One thing that I thought about is that my book is too wordy; some paragraphs can be eliminated. Another thought is that some thoughts I shared isn't explained enough in my book. Whatever the case, I feel my book can sit a spell. It won't hurt for my book to be sitting around gathering dust. There are too many books out there for truly-serious spiritual seekers. Besides, I felt that my book don't have much support or reason enough to convince people that they need to buy my book. There will always be someone who disagree with my thoughts as well as there are many who agree with my thoughts. Some thoughts I have in my book isn't a life-and-death matter if anyone choose to agree—or disagree. Other thoughts I shared in my book may cause some to take it too far and live blasphemously. There is no way of getting around it.
Sunday evening on August 16, David Rudolph preached about preparing ourselves for worship. I like his thoughts about the blind man and the Pharisees from the story in John 9. His key verses are verse 31 and 38. He point out that the evidence is right there, but there are some people who choose not to believe. Pharisees refuse to believe, and they are Bible scholars. In my understanding, David is
saying that we better be careful not to close our mind against the truth. It is my established conviction. I don't want to be unteachable. I have no reason to fear the truth. I took my mother's warning seriously, "It is truth that hurts". I have repeatedly experience that, by agreeing with truth, I will become immune to anything against me.
In fact, 1 John 2:27 gave me the impression, that the longer I stay teachable, I will become more unteachable!
For your information or reminder, some of you will not be receiving the latest from me from now on, unless you request your name to be part of "E-newsletter" list. I suspect that most, if not all, of those who were part of "My Book Reader" list which is not in my "E-newsletter" list have Internet access. You can still access to my blog at http://deafdemophile.blogspot.com or you can read my notes in Facebook. Just search deafdemophile@gmail.com in Facebook, and you will find me. Add me up and keep yourself posted about me by referring to my Facebook.
Monday, August 17, I just got done reading the book, Miss Nancy by Harvey Yoder. If every Christian would live like Miss Nancy, they won't need my book!
Four steps to success in any area of life...(from the Love Without End: Jesus Speaks)
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Be the love that you are
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Do the right thing
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Simply follow life and the living
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Forgive
Sincerely yours,
Omar Burkholder
August 16, 2009
