Burky's Blog

I got three emails that my friends got from the same girl, Meghen Ashart.  I just want to warn all of you about her and let you know that she is a spammer.  Jo told me Meghan's email mentions about disabled people search, so never know what she is up to.

I sign up for spam/scam reports once and I get updates about scammers periodically.  One scamming method is using dating sites and dupe the people who are looking for life companion into getting the scammer to be their sweetheart.  And then the scammer would say they are from other country.  Since they have no money, they will ask you to give them money so they can "buy visa and airplane tickets so they can marry" you.  Rather slick, not?

I BCC all of you as you probably notice, except three who you can see are scammers to my knowledge.  I am sure there are many more, this world is fast losing the value of honesty and integrity.  How I can suspect those are scammers was that as I talk to them, when they say they need help, I told them that I will send help in person.  They just need to give me their home address, so I can try to find some Christians in their area who is willing to help a stranger, but they won't give it.  They say they only want my help, no one else.  Well, if you are desperate, you would look for help in ANY way, right?  It don't matter if it is a perfect stranger coming to your house and give you money, because that person just could be an angel.  That simple rule always put the scammers in a box.

Never, never, never give money to anyone you don't know!!!  Unless if it is in person, of course, as you can see if they are poor or not.  And don't give your credit card numbers to people you are talking with online.  Or give anyone your bank account numbers. 

I didn't plan to "spam" all of you more than once.  But it is just that I mistook "CC" as "BCC" and here many of my good friends who prefer to keep their identity in secret "suffer" exposure hence my apology.  Now three people forward same girl to me.  Two of them did it for joke, but it bothers me that it happened so soon after I send out Christmas greetings.  Just now Jay show me an email he got today and it was the same girl that three others told me about!  Oh man, I am so mad.  No, I am not mad at those who forward to me as a joke, but I am mad at people who somehow hacked into our systems and get our email addresses.

Email and IM are wonderful tools to keep in touch with friends, and so is snail mail.  But this world are so interested in making money that they would do anything by advertising in magazines, sending us junk mail and spam us with emails, and whatnot.  I guess it is like God build His church for our good and the devil is so interested in keeping people out that he would build the world to be more appealing.

My apologies is that some of my email contacts are really just cell phones.  I hope they don't pay more for their cell service simply because they get long emails on their phones.

Ok see y'all next year!

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

I want to apologize that my Christmas update I send yesterday didn't send to you with all the names in BCC.  I got replies from different people and I noticed that all your names got on there.  I felt bad that I didn't make sure your email address is private to other people.  Of course, no one complained--yet--but I trust all of you wouldn't be spamming people on my list that you don't know.  Again I apologized.

It intrigues me how some people thinks I am sharing my struggles.  I never thought of them as struggles.  I was just stating my thoughts.  If that struggles about wishing to be hearing, I am sure everyone would agree that is nothing new.  Who deaf person wouldn't want to be hearing?  Let me assure you, for most of time, I am quite content with the way I am. 

In fact, last night I was in high spirits, playing a good game of pool with Leon, then Mike.  Then we play Black Trump (or if you please, Black 13).  Even if we played until 10 PM, I was pleased I didn't feel groggy when I wake up this morning.

I did admit thinking many times when I am feeling excited, enjoying good life, I did wonder what would it be like if I am saturated with divine presence.  If the Bible says abundant life in Jesus, then it must be much more than the life I know it.  Of course, it is natural if I wish for it.  Who wouldn't?!

I thought it was interesting that I happened to enjoy Burkholder's family reunion more than Martin's.  No offense to my cousins on my list; I think it is mostly because my cousin from Colorado was at Martin's family reunion, and it is natural for people want to update on each other whom they didn't see in person for years.  Then Burkholder's family reunion, the men gather around me and my brother.  I guess I was also glad to see my brother which contribute to Burkholder's family reunion enjoyment.  I was planning to stay at Martin's family reunion late, as I have no plans that evening.  But it was just ONE cousin that talked to me, and I felt she would want to visit with other ladies.  Other reason I was planning to stay long was that we often had a good game of cards after lunch.  Not this time.  And then with Burkholder's family reunion I didn't plan to stay long, and here I happened to enjoy myself.

I often hang out with deaf friends, so I know what it is like not to be left out.  So when I find myself in hearing world like my family reunions, I know I would enjoy their conversations if I can hear and understand what they are saying.  So such thoughts would surface.  And I merely share what is on my mind.

Yes, Linda Akers, I am thinking of faith healing.  I know no one would agree with me, but that was only because no one experienced it.  Maybe only two or three people on my contact list would agree with me that deafness can be healed today.  The Bible way was never popular, so whatever any of us would believe the Bible say thus and thus, not many people would agree with us.  Of course, I am talking about things that Bible give no impression whatsoever that it is not for today, and no one today experienced it, so on those points, most people don't agree.

Again I say, for most part, I am happy the way I am.  Of course, if I want to be part of truly Biblical church, I would rather be hearing more than deaf more strongly.  I got few replies to my Christmas letter saying that maybe God have plans for me to be deaf.  Of course, He does.  So did Jesus say of the blind man, when the disciples ask Him who sinned, that blind man or his parent.

You all have a good New Year!

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

Oh let us remember the Reason of the Season

And the Purpose of the Reason

So that we may bear the Spirit of the Season

All the way through the New Year!

As well as carrying out the Purpose of the Reason

I gotta get this email written.  It is middle of this week, and I fear that I might forget details of the weekend. 

I am writing this email to all who got involved or know a bit about it.  I am also including those who get my updates, which should be regular, but is not.

I see that the last time I wrote was before end of October.  So alot of water went over the falls since then.

October 27.  Did I tell you anything about that big weekend?  9 of us went to Elk County to enjoy sight-seeing and saw few elk in wild.  Peculiarly our fancy was bucks with massive antlers.  Then we went to Days Inn in Meadsville and stayed overnight.  We had a good time in swimming pool and hot tub. 

Oh dear, it has been few weeks since I got my last update email written.  And I am trying to start a business on Internet.  Every time when I start to be focused on it, I get sidetracked.  I thought I would have Thanksgiving Day to myself, but my sister told me that my family is coming to visit.  I know I should be glad to see them, but I often wonder when will I have time to myself?!

The weekend of October 27 went well, except it is a eye-opening experience for me.  We enjoy feeding stale bread to birds and fishes, but because of Amy confronting Paul, and the "war" got started.  I wish my friend would understand what exactly is happening, but they still don't.  There are finer details of human nature that is almost undetectable by human eye, but if you know the human nature and have studied on it, you would understand somewhat what is going on.

Since of that weekend, I resolved not to talk negatively about people.  I know my parents brought me up to be like that, being and appearing "more holy" than others by criticizing.  My parents never scold my sister and try to improve her natural-born critical nature.  At least not to my knowledge.  When they scold me, it is always a public matter, but when my sister get punished, I often don't know about it.  Don't seem fair, is it?

Oh now here I go, speaking negatively.  It is hard to think positive when all you think about is what is happening.  My heart nearly breaks to see my friends spitting against each other.  Even Paul Hoover won't let me help him.  Or so it seems.  But then maybe I am not willing to help others.  Rather, I would just be an example. 
But it is so sad, so sad, that Amy is more willing to think bad about people than to think good.  When I was fretting about being bogged down with so many activities, and I named them one by one--and when I say something about party at Curtis and Paula's, Leon's first reaction was that he never heard anything about it.  I know I used to be like that, but it don't bother me much anymore.  And as soon as Leon say that, then Amy say Paula hates her.  Why would she think like that?  Anyway, that jolted me and decided that I won't fret if I missed out.  In fact, I am counting blessings of my quiet, alone time.

So because of October 27 weekend, I resolved never speak negatively about people except those who can understand realistically.

October 31, I remember that was the day I got baptized when I was 16 years old.  I recalled it was 14 years ago.  I resolved that I will be a better Christian from that day forward.  Of course, I didn't do everything I should have done at Penn Valley Christian Retreat, but I don't feel I have done anything bad either. 

It is nice to have a holiday when I was baptized, so I can easily remember when I was baptized.  Can make a celebration out of it, but I know most of my friends aren't interested in celebrating that memory.  Not even Joel Reed; he is the kind who don't make anything special--or so it seems.

November 4 weekend.  First Deaf Mennonite Church have their revival weekend, but I went to Curtis and Paula Horning's place for birthday party for Dan and Kelly Villa.  It was nice to see them again, but again, Leon spoil Lisa Biddinger's enjoyment for the evening, then we all didn't get to enjoy a game or two.  We just chatted and watch TV.  Nothing exciting.  I did feel like leaving already, but Lisa caught me and had me pegged.  We had a good chat after everyone left, but I got home rather late then I went to FDMC Sunday morning to hear that preacher from Texas.  He is hearing himself, and he seem to carry well.  He seems to be more affable than Lewis Meyers tend to be.

That Sunday afternoon we had a fellowship meal at church and birthday party for Debbie Hoffer.  We had a good time, and even Lisa Ciccarelli and her friends were there.  It was nice to see them again.  And I saw few that I have met elsewhere.  They just show up because Debbie is now 50! 

November 10 weekend.  I went to Brooklyn, part of New York City.  I met a guy on Internet and he invited me to go to Thanksgiving party for deaf in Brooklyn.  I went and I admitted now that I wish I never went.  Friday evening I drove on turnpike to NYC, but I got sleepy.  To be safe, I decided to pull off on the shoulder where there is a parking space and dozed off a bit.  My friend, Louie, buzzed my Blackberry and ask where I am at.  I told him I went to sleep and he told me not to.  Then the traffic is bad as I near New York City.  $9 toll just get across the bridge!  I thought that was scandalous.  But I do know that NYC tend to have everything expensive. Upon arriving Louie's home, he told me that his mom don't want me to sleep overnight at his house.  So he had to find hotel for me to stay.  I was disappointed, because I didn't plan to stay on any expense, even though Louie did pay for my lodging.  Saturday morning I found my car went missing.  Friday evening we found the hotel that charge $75 per night then we drove around Brooklyn.  When we went back to hotel, the parking spaces got full.  Last resort got us parking, blocking the driveway.  I felt bit queasy about it, but Louie thought it should be ok.  Just for overnight, anyway.  But Saturday morning, it went missing.  I thought maybe Louie would drive off because he has my car keys.  But when he came back, I ask him about it.  He didn't have it, so we went to hotel manager and ask for help.  He ask around and found where my car is.  It is locked at tow truck office.  That office is open only for a hour or so that afternoon, and I need my car, so I decided to miss much of the thanksgiving party and went to get my car.  Upon arrival, I don't have debit card or enough cash, so I couldn't get my car.  It sure give me a clearer picture how distrustful New Yorker tend to be.  Crime is high in that city and unemployment rate is higher than Lancaster County, so you don't find Lancaster County affability there.  I thought about if I have that situation in Lancaster County, they probably would mercifully accept my checks even if it is not their policy.

I didn't know what to do, because my friend who would give me an immediate help is out of my contact reach.  He don't have sidekick with him and I don't even know who and what do they have at the party so I can reach him.  So I am stuck with my friends.  I decided to ask Paula, because I was chatting with her a bit awhile ago.  Then I start talking with Curtis and Leon.  I knew Leon is very willing to drive long distance to help a friend.  He love to drive, so I did ask him.  But first I ask him for Lewis's phone number.  I got it and contact Lewis and ask him what to do.  Being knowledgable with Internet and all, he was a best friend to rescue me then.  But when he finally got his money wired by Western Union to me, the office got closed.  So my only option left is to go back to hotel.  I had map program on my blackberry, so I got the address where I was and where I want to go.  But that maps is for driving, and I can't walk on highway, so I decided to walk on streets, following the highway.  I did that until I found that the highway is not all bridge.  So I couldn't really follow it anymore.  So I decided to try to remember where it is and try to walk around.  Again Lewis IMmed me and ask where I am.  He didn't feel comfortable of having me being lost and alone in Brooklyn.  He found the nearest subway station to where I was and told me to go to it.  I went and didn't find it right way.  So I ask a man, and he told me where it is.  I walked over and found it.  And I got the message on subway map that I can get to 95th street and that is close to where the hotel is.  I was so relieved to find hotel, but still apprehensive about what is going to happen on Sunday.

Louie email me few times, so I replied.  I was so grateful for my blackberry.  But I do know that means I am technology depended than God depended.  Sure wonder how those people do without modern technology as we know it back in Middle Ages and all.  I told Louie to find me at the hotel.  He came over and found me sleeping and door locked.  I told him I would leave the door unlocked, but I waited too long for my patience.  After a good talk, and explaining what happened, he regret that he couldn't help me faster.  He ask me to eat out, but I thought he don't understand that I am pinching pennies.  But I went, realizing that Louie don't really understand everything as I see it.

Sunday morning we ask the hotel manager what to do.  He called and found out that they can deliver to me on Sunday, although it would means I need to pay more.  Well, while I mind losing more dollars, but I need my car back so to go to work on Monday.  So I decided to get my car back.  But instead of our first plans in going to WTC and Central Park, we waited by the phone, so to speak.  One hour, one hour, one hour....finally I got my car back at 5:30 PM.  Finally! 

I only planned to spend $100- in New York City, but here I had to pay $33 for taxi to get to my car, $190 to get my car back, $75 for parking violation, and plus expected from eating out.  It sure make me feel like I am not supposed to go to Brooklyn at the first place.  But when I finally arrived home at 10 PM Sunday evening, I was so relieved and so glad to be home that I had a wave of feeling that I would like to go back to Brooklyn.  If bus fare to Washington D.C. from Brooklyn would be $15, it would be cheaper to Ephrata or Lancaster.  Amtrak fare vary from $30 to $40, which is far more cheaper than worrying where to park in congested New York City.  And I would save gas on my car too.  Then if I travel by overnight, I wouldn't need to stay at hotel in NYC.  That $75 for a room in Brooklyn, NY, is much more poorer than $65 a room in Meadsville, PA.

But still....do I really want to?  That Louie is bit freaky.  I mean, I am not comfortable with excessive giving.  After learning about 5 Love Languages, I felt that gifts is least on my list.  That was basically because I am too picky that I am often unhappy with what people give me for birthdays and Christmas.  Well, maybe I am not unhappy, but I still would have to "hid" it.  I don't like gifts that has to do with interior decor or design.  Clothes are ok, if people ask me what I want and they get me what I want or need, but if it is something that I don't generally wear or wouldn't buy, I don't know what to do with it.  Lisa and Paul both ask me what I want for Christmas, well, I would say that black jeans and black Dickie cell pants with waist-size of 36 is what I need right now.  It seems like I have more shirts than pants and I wish I have more pants.  But sometime people would give me things that I don't know what to do with.  That is also what I thought about wedding gifts....do I really want to get married?  People would give me things that I don't really want.  But if people give me books, I don't mind, because I am a book collector.  Still, the best love language that I respond to the most is quality time, which is why my parents can't understand why I love playing cards and/or games on any rainy day.

At one point, when I was commenting on clothes I saw at the store, Louie ask me if I want it.  He would buy for me, but I felt bit pissed.  Why can't I just say something on my mind and not have to worry about him buying it?  I don't need another coat, but I do enjoy admiring a fine piece of work.

November 17 weekend.  My, that was a wonderful weekend.  I think it is funny that Louie worry about me and cluck over me like a mother hen.  I don't like that, or maybe I just am not used to it.  Still, he don't understand the kind of culture I grew up in.  He thought it best to have few friends, but I felt like I never have enough friends.  I always need one more.  Never know that the next friend may be my help in time of need.  I am thankful that I met Mark Shenk because he knows about computers and Internet more than anyone I know.  I am thankful for Lisa Ciccarelli, because of her, I get to know more of deaf events.  I am thankful for Leon and Amy Hoover, because Leon is so much fun.  He like playing Rook too.  Ricky Eberly and Paul Hoover and Jay Edwin Zimmerman.  We all like playing Rook, which we tend to do most Sundays this year.  Anyway, Penn Valley is not a dangerous place.  Not like Brooklyn. 

I have asked Friday afternoon off so I can have early start for Penn Valley.  But because of Paul's boss, we didn't get going until 5 and then we stop at restaurant near Mifflinstown as we planned, so we didn't get to Penn Valley until after the service there is over.  I would rather be there earlier, because I don't have much time to meet everyone.  I would rather be at Penn Valley for supper too.  But it is foolish to drive alone, when there are friends we can carpool together and cut costs.  So I have to bend for my friends' sake.

James Burkholder, my deaf Kentuckian friend, came to stay overnight at my home.  I was so glad to see him, and it is nice to have him over.  We had a good time, then we carpool to Penn Valley.

We already reserve that cabin we slept in for next year.  I was thinking it would be nice if Jay's brother can bring his RV to the cabin, so more of our friends can sleep close each other.  And we can partied late too.

Monday, I am back to work.  I don't know why but I feel so sleepy so much.  I don't like that a bit.  But the whole week, it drizzled outside and look foggy, the kind I would want to stay home and enjoy a good game of cards.  But Jay isn't much for card playing, especially if it is just two of us.  And I have to go to work, victimized by Keystone Koating.

It is getting so bad that I want to start my own business on Internet--NOW!  But the problem is every time when I focused on starting a business, there always goes a time.

I finally got this email written, and I am glad to have that off my mind.  All my friends are hanging on my updates for their dear lives, so it seems.  Even Janet ask me at Penn Valley Christian Retreat (Deaf Seminar) if I still do updates.  Lisa wonder what is happening to me lately. 

I am thankful that things are turning out that I may have more time to upstart Internet business.  I was thinking of Thanksgiving Day, but my family are coming, so I have to give up that time.  Sorry if I sound so selfish, but we never was very close-knit family anyway.

On this Thanksgiving Day, I would have to find ways to be thankful. 

I am thankful for my parents, for they brought me into this world.  They didn't bring up a close-knit family, so I am more free from my family life now.  Because of lack of praise and encouragement, I didn't feel love enough to want to stay in Mennonite church where I grew up.  I am thankful for exposure to new things, things that Bible promote and realize that Mennonites don't support them.  I am thankful that my parents are not strict on my reading materials, or I would never realize that Mennonites aren't 100% Biblical.  I am thankful that my parents learn sign language for my siblings' sake, because I have a cutting edge in the deaf world.  What I mean, is that I know sign language from infancy, I can be well educated better than most deaf people.

I am thankful that I went to Belize, despite that Mennonites I grew up with don't approve.  Because of Belize, I learn so much about life in general.  I am thankful that Frank ask all of us to learn behavior science such like Theophostic counsellings and Personality Insights.  I am thankful that, because of that, I got my family interested and my sister had me to read a book about temperaments, thus broadening my understanding of people.

I am thankful that in this hopeless world, God is our Hope.  I am thankful that in God, we have no reason not to achieve anything we aspire to do.  As God is God of impossible, we can achieve that most people think impossible.  All we need to excerise our faith to move mountains.  Because of that, we have no excuse or right to say that we can't.  We have no right to tell others that they can't. 

I am thankful that the Bible give us a way of life.  A much better life than most people are living.  While it is not the easy road, it still get the best dividends.  I am thankful that the doctrine of nonresistance and pacifism is much better than war.  It is not an easy road, and most people don't understand that God's goodness is much more powerful than Satan's evil.  I am thankful that God's wisdom is revealed to babies, not to the prudent who always try to live by common sense, because common sense is often depend on what they see, not by what they believe. 

I am thankful that I met few friends online and hopefully because of them I can prosper well.  I am thankful for all my friends who pray for me and for my soul.  I am thankful that my mom are becoming more serious about Christian living and realize that living by faith is much more rewarding than living by sight.

I am thankful that God send His only begotten Son Jesus to die for our sins that we don't need to suffer as much.  I am thankful that God have done everything for us, and now the only thing we need to do is to act upon our faith.  And He long to see us "take heaven by force" so to move mountains, as that's the only way to excerise faith.  I am thankful that the power of prayer is not limited to what is good and holy, but what is amoral as well.  Most Christians believe that we need to pray God's will so to get answers, which is true, but they limited what is God's will.  I am thankful that I understand God's will for our lives more clearly and because of that I am not giving up until I win the crown.

I am thankful for my friends here and aboard.  I am thankful for new friends that I will make in future.  I am thankful for my job even if it is taxing.

Ah, I am thankful that being thankful is the main way to keep apostasy in check. 

In time of life when I have to pay $200+ for what can be avoided in Brooklyn; lost my coat, shirt, and jeans at Penn Valley; cut off my new debit card (ATM) by mistake, and doctor bills exceeding what I can afford, and my computer is begging for replacement...it is easy to see why I am so despaired.  But I have to think positive and believing that the shining light of hope is coming right up.  Right now, I don't feel I have any real friends; Mark make sure I see that.  Then whenever I try to focus on my Internet business, people keep bothering me, so I feel like I need to stop chatting online.  And start scheduling my life.  I need to excerise more, so I better do that more.  The rate things are happening right now makes me feel like this could be the climax before the next breakthrough--hopefully a profitable Internet business!

I am emailing this to more than my e-newsletter list, because there are quite a few involved in my NYC incident.  So hello everyone, and happy thanksgiving to all.
--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

1. What is your occupation? Keystone Koating
2. What color are your socks right now? Barefoot
3. What are you listening to right now? Nothing
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Hawaiian Pizza
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes....maybe not
6. What color would you be? White and Black?
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yes who wouldn't
9. How old are you today? 30
10. Favorite drink?  Mount Vernon Five Farms Root Beer
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? figure skating
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? no
13. Pets? none,  they are money suckers
14. Favorite food?  Salad Bar
15. Last movie you watched?  Flag of Our Fathers
16. Favorite Day of the year?   Christmas
17. What do you do to vent anger?  At first, very quiet; eventually talk excessively
18. What was your favorite toy as a child? Teddy bear?
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring?  Spring?
20. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
21. cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? yep
23. Who is most likely to respond? Lisa
24. Who is least likely to respond? Julia
25. Living arrangements?   Roommate
26. When was the last time you cried? couple weeks ago
27. What inspires you? music and beauty
28. What are you afraid of? losing friends and getting hurt
29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?  Spicy, please!
30. Favorite car? BMW
31. Favorite cat breed? Persian
32. Favorite dog breed?  Pomeranian, miniature collie
33. Number of keys on your key ring? 3
34. How many years at your current job?  1+ year
35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
36. How many states have you lived in?   3
37. How many countries have you been to?  6  (USA, Canada, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Belize, Guatemala)

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

Tuesday.  11:20 AM.  Temperature: 76F.  I am feeling lazy and tired.  Feeling like there is no purpose in life.  ....

Wednesday.  5:30 PM.  Temperature: 58F.  I am feeling peppery.  Feeling like I can work at Keystone Koating forever.

Ok, now.  Let's be realistic.  Keystone Koating isn't my cup of tea.  Never was, never is, and never will be.  Just that I was being jolly at the closing.  Rain and cool air.  That sure pep me up. 

I have cause to celebrate.  I was cashless for two weeks, and the gas I got last week lasted until this morning.  Low Gas Incidator was on this morning the whole way from home to work.  I stopped at bank to check to see how much money I have in my account, and was glad to see I have enough to fill my car real full.  What a relief!

Now I need to shut down all the stuff that is taking money from me.  Only thing I will be paying is my car, my rent, and MyFax.  That should suffice for now.

Thursday morning.  6:03 AM.  My car odomter got to 55,500 miles.  It is raining nicely as I drove to work.  I am feeling fine to work, but don't know if my sleeping hours is not enough last night...

Monday morning...Finally home from a long weekend, and I woke up after a good night's sleep.  It feels good to be home; but I am glad for memories we have generated over the weekend, even if it is bit tainted.

I keep thinking I should get this email done, but what more should I say?

Except I have a good conversation with Amy Sue.  but I don't have much time to write all that down.  In half hour, I must leave for work.  Let's see if I get to work late--or on time.

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:   deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

It is a beautiful morning, rather cool.  I am getting the spirit of November right now.  When the air is like this, I always think of that poem, that I read and memorized while working at CLP, "The Mists and All."

I like the fall
The mist and all
I like the night owl's lonely call
And wailing sound
Of wind around

I like the gray
November day
And dead, bare boughs that coldly sway
Against my pane
I like the rain

I like to sit
And laugh at it
And tend my cozy fire a bit
I like the fall
The mist and all.

Perhaps some of you, this poem sound familiar.  That poem greatly influence my love for "dead, bare boughs" known in winter.  Now, in November of Belize, it is always wet season.  At least I remember rainy day, riding on the back of the pick up.  I hate being wet, but I love sitting inside looking out the window at the rain.  I remember nights in Belize there are lightning every night.  Of course, I would admit that while in Belize, I would fret about missing out the snow. 

My problem with Maryland and Pennsylvania is that there seems like there is no guarantee of snow in winter.  If I would live in Mine Centre, Ontario, I would expect for snow in winter.  And I would admit I would like to live in the log house by the frozen lake during winter there.  But that would be a reality if I am rich and own few homes.  I did think I would like to live in Mine Centre and Belize.  I used to dream about living in South Dakota, as I found they are thinking of building a town of Laurent, a town for deaf to live a normal lives, being bilingual.  But some time ago, I read their blog and found out that they didn't get the legal approval to build the town at the location they first planned.  So the location is left to question.  Just now, I checked their website, and found that I can't get any more information any beyond the figment of dreams.  It really convince me that town may not materialize.  I kind of feel sorry for all those who put their money into that town. 

Truth was, the housing market and economy is slipping these days.  I kind of wish USA would practices same as God ask of Isreal, that every 7 years, the slaves would go free and every debts are forgiven.  Sure, we won't be as rich as we are now, or even that USA won't be the world leader, but we all would be living comfortably, even if it means just food and clothes.

"For the first time since 1928, both major parties will have open contests for the Presidential nomination without a sitting President or Vice President in the running." 

--

Dear Friends,

It was such a foggy morning, a kind of morning I would love to be home.  But now it is pass the mid-morning and I see the sun shining on the leaves through the mini-blinds.  If it is raining outside, I sure wish I can enjoy relaxing at home.  But that isn't always the case, and I remember my mom say once she noticed it seldom rain on Saturday, more sunshine than rain on Saturday that one year.  I checked that since and found that's to be true...much to my "disappointment"

Perhaps it is because I grew up on farm, and never had a farmer's heart, so if it is raining, it means I get to stay indoors ("Praise the Lord!").  So if it is beautiful day, then I have to drag my feet outdoors and do farm work.  But today, I no longer have to do farm work, and even went farther to have "conviction" against it basically because I am convinced vegetarian, although not strictly call it my lifestyle (yet!).  Working at Cayo Deaf Institute awakes the dormant feeling I have for gardening, so I must do inherit some green thumb from my mother.  Now, today, I am dreaming to own a home with a garden big enough to give me enough food to live on for a whole year, being less dependent on stores.

After all, considering that verse in the Bible mentioning about "having food and clothes, let us be content", could lead us to believe that everything other than food and clothes is a real luxury, despite our culture may tell us otherwise. 

This evening, we are planning to go watch bull-riding in Harrisburg, so I am sure it would be a crowd, as it is a professional event.  Imagine staying on the mean bulls for 8 seconds and try to get high points.  But then you are mostly at mercy of that mean beast under you to get that high point.  It is my roommate's favorite event to watch and enjoy more than anyone else I know. 

Seems to me that most of my friends enjoy greater variety of things than my roommate does.  And then I am the only one in my friendship circle that can eat anything and call it delicious.  No matter where I go for restaurant, I would by 99% chance would love the food I just happened to order, leading me to want to try something different every time I go out to eat.  But to be strictly honest with myself, I would admit that Subway, Blimpie, or any salad bar is my greatest weakness.  They often ask me if I want to clean up their leftovers!

Yesterday evening I sat between two divorcee and both are my co-workers in Longhorn Steakhouse for birthday party for Brent who is also my co-worker.  The food there is good, but I wish my steak is bit rarer.  I have had worked at Shady Maple Smorgasbord as a dishwasher and found that dishes from and for salad bar or vegetables get washed sufficiently by dishwashing machine alone, whereas desserts and meat dishes have to be scrubbed by hand.  It sure makes me wonder how such food go through our bodies.  It is obvious that our body assimilate vegetables far more easier than meat or any other food.  Anyway, the next steak I would have at Longhorn Steakhouse, I would want it to be rarer, so to be easy to chew.  Although I do wonder if there is next time.  My friends would have to convince me to come with them to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse again.

Oh now Fermin just instant-message me.  He faithfully call me everyday, except Sunday.  It is good to have him as my reminder, because I felt so strongly, wishing to go back to Belize for a visit.  But I felt so strongly as well that I must pay off my bills first.  So my only hope is in God to help me out.  And I trust and believe that anything that is important to me is also important to God, as the Bible seem to impress us that when we come to God as a servant, Jesus took us as a brother/sister, a joint-heir. 

Oh for some of you who don't know Fermin, he is one of students at Cayo Deaf Institute in Belize while I was there as a teacher.  I can see he has great interest in computers and technology like I do, so I hope for that day when God can make it possible for Fermin, Jeovani, and Ben to own one.  Yes, I know that would be a luxury for them as it is for us, but God is not limited to food and clothes, He like us to be happy as well.  After all, Jesus is all in all.

ASL social in Lancaster used to be every 3rd Friday evening, but now is moved to second Friday evening of every month, basically because of York having their ASL social on every 3rd Saturday evening.  But I used to like that arrangement because I can stay overnight at Mark Shenk's house after Lancaster ASL social and then spend all day on Saturday with him and go to York ASL social that evening.  My, fond memories is just that--fond memories, never to be repeated.

Now, Mark Shenk is all wrapped up with his girlfriend, being so human as all of us.  It is so easy for us, when we have one friend with common ground, we tend to hang out with that friend more than all other friends.  Praise the Lord, he saw me through the time of loneliness, and gave me love in small pieces through different people.

So that means my October schedule is as follows. October 2, I went out with Leon Hoover that evening.  October 3, I went with Jay to watch the parade in New Holland fair.  October 4, I went with Paul Hoover to New Holland fair and enjoy looking around.  We did few rides, and then watch firemen's tug-of-war afterwards with Charlene Zimmerman and Jay Edwin Zimmerman.  October 5, I went to ASL social in Camp Hill just in outskirt of Harrisburg, which is a hour's drive for me.  Upon return, I stopped at Longhorn Steakhouse for birthday supper for Brent, one of my co-workers.  October 6, 8 of us are planning to watch professional bull riders in Harrisburg Farm Show Complex.  October 7, I am not sure where I want to attend church, would it be First Deaf Mennonite Church?  Leon Hoover talks about going to Elk County in PA and watch ducks walk on fishes close to Erie.  It is first Sunday of the month, which is when First Deaf Mennonite Church would have their usual fellowship dinner after church.  I wonder if that would materialize.  Maybe I can talk with Leon later about that.  October 8, that's when Plant 2 would close for indefinite time and merge with Plant 1 where I work.  Yes, I am talking about Keystone Koating, the branch from Paul B Zimmerman in Ephrata, or Lititz, take your pick.  All the workers from Plant 2 will come over and work with us.  And we will start working from 6:30 AM to 5 PM everyday, Monday to Friday, much to my dismay.  Positive thinking would say "more moolah", but I beg for more time for myself.  October 12, I plan to attend Lancaster ASL social that evening.  October 14, I want to go to First Deaf Mennonite Church in the morning and go to Renaissance Faire immediately afterwards.  October 20, Sherlock Holmes will be playing on the stage at Fulton Opera House along with ASL interpreters interpreting the play.  That evening Leon Hoover will have their hayride for deaf people. 

So that means I have so much events to attend.  I would like to go to Field of Scream or Jason's Woods sometime in October, and Paul Hoover would like to go to Hersheypark in the Dark on October 27.  But whether or not if I attend any of that is left in question.  I would feel more comfortable if I have all my bills and debts paid.  It is kind of good to have much events to attend, so I wouldn't wallow in the pit.  Seems to me that people who don't get out much tend to be more closed minded and less fun to be around.  And it seems to me, according to biographies I have read, that people who are lost in God or filled with Holy Spirit tend to get around pretty much, even if it means being a traveling evangelist alone.

So far, the event I have in November is Penn Valley Deaf Seminar.  I plan to attend the whole weekend. 

I have been adding quite few people to this "newsletter" list and heard no answer concerning these emails.  I am thinking of deleting the names off the list, and keep my favorites, especially the ones who want to know what's new with me.  I even blank carbon copy to emails, because I didn't really like people asking me who's who, and it would ensure privacy to them as well.  I like to know what's new with you, but it seems like we are all so human, preferring to hear from others rather than sharing about yourself.  Just because I like to writing emails/faxes does not mean I would keep doing "one-sided" conversations.  Use Instant Messaging if you can, although I confess for not being online much. 

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

I better get this update email written before I would run out of time to write it.  And before I would have to write a long email or something.  Of course, I am not very true prophet, so I can't really tell the future.

Just for example, I was so undecided between three events on Saturday, and I decided to go for the cheapest, hanging out with my friends at Buck.  Upon arrival at Buck, we discovered that we are the only people there, so we had to turn around and went back home...1 hour drive roundtrip...for nothing.

But we did have a good time that evening, playing Rook, as usual.

On Sunday, we had a deaf party.  We all did have a nice time, although I was bit pissed at Debbie Towles for using videophone most of the afternoon.  Two poor people had to miss out using the videophone because of that, plus one did try to call during her usage.  But all is well that ends well.

September 30 is my family reunion and I plan to attend.

September 29, Lisa Ciccarelli and I are planning to go to Bloomsburg Fair with Curtis and Paula Horning.

Ephrata Fair is this week, and the main street is lined with lawn chairs reserved by their owners for Wednesday evening parade.  Next week, New Holland will have their fair.  I thought, my, Lancaster County towns sure like to have their fairs in the fall.  If I could keep in track of all of them.

I might want to enjoy parades of both Ephrata and New Holland.  I was in the parade last year in both of those towns.

Last week was rather uneventual.  I was at Ephrata Christian Fellowship last Sunday, and Paul Clark is now the only interpreter there.  Joanna and Dena Marini is no longer Marini after September 15, their double wedding day.  Joanna moved to Colorado as that's where her husband is from.  And Paul told me he won't be at his church for following two Sundays, so I went to First Deaf Church yesterday and presumably would the next Sunday as it is the first Sunday of the month.

October 6, we are talking about going to bull riding in Harrisburg, but Charlene inform us yesterday that Nelson and Caroline Weaver is coming in PA that day for his nephew wedding.  They would like to hang out with us, but we already first planned to see the bull riding.  I am not much for that, but Jay is being influential in that area.

October 20, Leon Hoover is planning a hayride that evening.  So I have quite planned that day, as there is a play at Fulton Opera House that afternoon.  I didn't hear from Lisa if we are going on her tickets or not, but I sure would like to go.  Fiddler on the Roof.

I am not sure what I would do on other weekends in October, but Charlene did say that Luke Martin is coming in PA from Canada for minister's meeting, and he would like to meet all of us.  No date set for sure, but I also would like to see other places.  Oh dear, I better slow down!



--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767

For weeks, I am bit confused. I still am confused, to say the least. I have more to say in the last post, but I was writing that in an email that I intend to send out to my e-newsletter list. And I want to write in what I didn't want anyone to know.

But I don't know if Mark would have access to this website and he probably read it. But for some reason, I suspect he is not interested in me enough to want to read my blogs. But maybe he would surprise me. Whatever, he never said a word if he did or not.

But anyway. Three weeks ago, I decided to put on www.deafvp.com my listing. I put all means of contact on there as usual, and didn't expect that the next day I would be bombarded on all sides from girls seeking for a life companions. I am not for online dating; I never was much for that. So that evening I decided to delete all means but left on MSN. Because I figured people would try to email to that hotmail account of mine and I don't care if I would get spam in that account. But not in my Gmail account. No thanks.

Oh that reminds me, I am noticing that spam folder is losing emails. 30 days are up, so they are automatically deleting my Spam emails from the folder. And it really make me wonder if I am not getting spam as much as I did at first. That would be nice; that's for sure.

But back to the story three weeks ago, a girl, or so she imposted as thus, by the name of Mandy Schley, talked to me on AIM. We were talking about trivial things, and suddenly after I mentioned that my job is not my dream job, she started telling me about a job offer. A online business. Now that's my dream, and to think I would work part-time. She put so much pressure on me so I did buy the business. I paid $500 in two weeks, and then I ask for assurance that I won't need to pay any more money to get that promised $3000 on the following Friday. She did assure me and then I even ask if I can start right away as soon as I paid, even if it means before I get $3000.

I did my share, but she didn't keep her promise. She ask me to pay $300 for closure fees, and I got adamant that I won't pay anymore. They can easily deduct $300 from my $3000. But they won't do it. So I knew that something isn't right. Of course, I didn't pay $300 more and of course also, I didn't get $3000. It really lead me to believe that it is scam, nothing less.

Shortly after that heated discussion we have had last Thursday evening, I got an email in hotmail account about people in Nigeria have a government force that capture the scammers and put them in the slammer. I start to think about informing them about I had to send my $250 to Funso Petro.

I didn't do that yet, tho.

But I am seriously thinking of it, even tho I do wonder if I will.

I explain so clearly to Mandy Schley why I did what I did. And she affirms about "With God nothing is impossible" I agreed with her, and reminded her about it when I explain what I believe. I didn't hear from her since. I believe that's the end of the story about that scam that I fell for recently.

Increasingly, I am feeling burdened that I must pray without ceasing. I have been wanting to for years, and why do I keep putting it off? Oh why, when I decided to stick to my knees, I get the fidgety feeling to get going again? It sure is hard to stay on my knees, not knowing what to expect except an answer from God Himself. But one of these days I would have to. I would just have to die to self.

And I did think about my Grandmother's 89th birthday last Thursday, but I didn't do anything to send or assure her of this. Oh God, what is happening to me?!

Anyway, I went to bank yesterday and beg for Overdraft Honor. That way I can overdraw my account by ATM, and keep up my bills.

I am seriously thinking of keeping my bills paid. I even got a note from Jay's mom, asking for a little something for my laundry. I sure wish Jay would have his own laundry tools, but apparently he didn't see the need or don't want to do it, thinking it is a woman's job.

O well, it feels better to write down that musings I have been having down, but no one would need to know...unless Mark have read it.

I sure wish Mark would tell me if he really read my emails and such, but he is so quiet. It is mainly that is the reason why I feel he isn't that interested in me.

Oh well, it is nice and cloudy today, and we are talking about going to Buck tonight. So I am taking easy all day today Saturday. I have been surfing through the Webshots and enjoying the pictures. I am seriously thinking of putting all the Webshots pictures onto the DVD and have it on Julia's computer. Of course, I would have to delete the pictures that she may find offensive.

Well, I don't know where to begin.  But I expect this email would be shorter than my last.  I recently read the email etiquette that it is better to keep it short.  But it didn't say anything about fax as well.  I am sending this as email and fax both. 

Labor weekend went well.  Although I should make a wiser use of that long weekend.

Jay's house is really a hubbub of deaf activity.  With all conveniences plus my presence, people tend to flock here at our home.  I sometimes felt a bit overwhelmed.  I do like quiet times.  But it seems like people, especially Leon Hoover, don't understand the simple pleasure of staying at home.  Oh how I love being at home, but I am longing for MY home.  Jay's house is still under his mother's regime and I don't feel free to do whatever I want.

Besides, flowerbeds and garden is not mine.

Monday I went to my family's home and fix Julia's email.  She should be getting this email by now.  And then Thursday evening I went again to get Julia's printer working with her computer.  Now it is working, and I hope that Julia don't make any farther mess with her computer.  She wouldn't have to if she keep using her computer as what she bought it for.  Writing letters, emails, and making cards.  If she stick to these, she would be ok. 

So last week is rather uneventful.  Nothing much new.

September's beginning is over, and we are approaching the middle of the month.  It is hard to believe how fast the time flies.  That's what happened when you are constantly on go. 

I went to First Deaf Mennonite Church yesterday morning and Lewis preached about giving 5 loaves and 2 fishes to Jesus.  Mere pittance, but God saw beyond the gift and at the motive of the giver, then He blessed the giver far more than he ever think possible.  I thought now he is talking about faith again.  It is really all what the Christian life is all about.  After all the Bible asserted that God cannot be happy without our faith.  And then we need to prove that we have the faith.

I had to think that the lifestyle the Bible ask us to live is all about living by faith.  But so few Christians see that.  Without faith, Christian life would be more legalistic.

After church, I went to Renaissance Faire.  It is wonderful place, a reminiscence of renaissance era, the times of Queen Elizabeth I.  I think or I suspected that I am the only deaf there.  All those interpreters, and only me show up!  They will have another event on October 14, and I am looking forward to it.  I hope more deaf people will be there.

Events...events...events...so a quiet, peaceful weekend would be rare and wonderful.  I went to Fulton Opera House, the America's oldest running opera house; at 155th year, it is still going strong.  I went there Saturday afternoon, and I enjoyed the play, but it wasn't the best one I ever have seen.  Next one would be October 20.

Well, sorry, nothing much new.  So I am sure some of you are glad this isn't like a book as my last update email. <Smile>

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767
SMS:   717-538-9648
Phone: 1-800-541-7172

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Omar Burkholder <deafdemophile@gmail.com>
Date: Sep 1, 2007 9:57 AM
Subject: Update....August 26 and September 1
To: Andrew Zelinski <andbarzel@gmail.com>, Brian Zelinski <brianzelinski@gmail.com >, David Perfect <maandpa@shentel.net>, Enos Burkholder <sonyjay25411@aol.com>, Janet Martin < janetm@abcmailbox.net>, Joel Reed <jfreed@dejazzd.com>, Julia Burkholder <juliaburky@abcmailbox.net>, Ken and Linda Akers < lindash33@verizon.net>, Kenny <khmcgee@hotmail.com>, Linda Sue Hoff <birdofire1@yahoo.com >, Lisa Ciccarelli <goofyski@tmail.com>, Mark Shenk <shenkm@gmail.com>, Maynard Bauman < xj.13@hotmail.com>, Nathan & Ruth Burkholder <13014324145@myfax.com>, Nelson Zimmerman <17174450515@myfax.com>, Paul Clark < deflyingboy@gmail.com>, "Tammie (belcher)" <trmnb2003@yahoo.com>, Lisa Ciccarelli < Goofy1965@verizon.net>

It is Sunday morning, and I should get my dishes washed.  It is soaking in the hot water anyway, so it would be easier to wash.  But one thing about the dishwashing detergent...I must have put too much in, because it make things slippery.  I don't like it too slippery.

I am having a slight headache, that I had from yesterday.  I do wonder if my headache comes from sudden impact of water, insufficient sleep, or not eating as I should?  So this morning I decided to take peppermint oil, in hope to alleviate the discomfort. 

I should do this update awhile back, but I was feeling bit too lazy about it.  Perhaps it would do to keep quiet about what I am going to do, so people won't bother me how was my weekend.  I wasn't in the best mood to talk about the weekend in the cabin, but now I am OK with it.  But now I should go back to do the dishes.

Dishes are done, and I put more peppermint oil in my nape and on my forehead.  I felt bit better, but it isn't the best.  Perhaps I need more sleep, I dunno.

The weekend in cabins went well.  It's just that I felt somewhat a misfit, because I am not that crazy for biking along the creek.  I am more for walking.  And then I like the quiet solitude.  But people worry if I decided to snuck off somewhere alone.  I guess if I am with group of people, for the means of deaf reunion or party, I should not do that.  I don't like it if my friends would do that, so why should I do any different?  But if something is bothering me or if I am uncomfortable about something, I prefer to be alone.

Well, one thing I have known for a long time is that life's greatest joys comes from people and life's greatest pain comes from people.  This month, since I am 30, it seems like I keep facing more pain than joys from people, so I am starting to understand why that lone ranger sit atop a mountain in Yellowstone would love his job.  No interaction with people.  While you may miss out life's greatest joys, you enjoy more of a sedated peace.  Everything goes smooth.

I am more for a beach than mountains, but I grew up in Mennonite lifestyle, and in pursuit of acquiring friends in the deaf world, I find myself friends with other deaf men who also grew up in Mennonite lifestyle and they are so different from me.  One could wonder if I was born and raised in Mennonite lifestyle but with the heart for non-Mennonite lifestyle.  Anyway, it is wonderful that I was friends with Mark for a while.  He taught me many things, but I felt more confused about who and what am I.  And I never regret that I went to Belize.

Right now, I am in tight fix.  I have some longing for college, but then again, I would like to live in Belize.  For awhile, I thought I would like to live in South Dakota, where they are dreaming for a deaf town.  Now that dream is dropped, and Marvin Martin is looking for another spot.  Then as Mark's friend, I would like to live in south of Lancaster.  That would give me some benefit as I would be living closer to my aunt's place.  But now, I am longing for Belize.

So what should I do now?  College or Belize?  Or should I go to college first, then go to Belize? 

However, right now I know I must continue a bit in PA.  I sure hate that heavy traffic I have to face everyday on 322.  I keep wanting a job I can do at home and on Internet.

Oh, I didn't say too much about cabin.  I know Lisa would bug me for more details.  Friday morning, we left early.  I was fanatic about my ugly hair, so I ask Jay's mom to barber me.  She didn't do very good job, so I figure she must be too old for it.  So I decided to try on my own.  I did get it the way I want it to look, although I cut it shorter than I first planned.

Jay, Paul, Vicky, and I all went in Jay's truck; and we follow Leon all the way to the cabin.  We stopped at Perkins on the way, and met Ricky's there.  We had a good time dining and talking.

Upon our arrival, we find Irvin Fox waiting for us.  I have the keys, so we got into the cabin.  It was very hot in there, so everyone went opening all the windows.  Then we single men try to find where the other cabin that we plan to sleep.  When we finally found where the cabin is, we were in disbelief.  It is too nice a cabin in comparison to where the parties are.  Still the key I have fit and opened the door for us.

It is a very nice log cabin.  But green-eyed monster wouldn't allow single men to sleep in there.  Finally, the final plans was that Ricky and Leon sleep in two nice rooms with their wives.  The boys sleep upstairs and the girls sleep in the basement.  Irvin Fox slept in the room right beside the kitchen.

We play Rook, the boys.  Then Charlene lead out the game of Snitz.  I would like to play more of that and also Liverpool, but I am Rook addict, I fear.

Saturday morning, bright and early.  It is very beautiful day.  I thought I was planning to ride bike that morning, but because my sisters were there, so I thought it would a good opportunity to talk with them.  But I saw my sisters ran off with bunch of girls, hiking. So I decided to relax on the deck with my laptop.  To my dismay, I found out that my Microsoft Works no longer works.  So I had to settle with WordPad and use it to write down my thoughts....

" Dear friends, it is a beautiful Saturday morning.  I am relaxing on the deck.  Every one was out for the hiking.  I should have went hiking, but I was thinking how nice it was here.  I was thinking how Mark said it was relaxing to have a whole week doing nothing.  I never had that experience.  Yellowstone isn't doing nothing, but hiking with a heavy backpack.  A whole week?!  Now I have only Saturday morning.  Mark is fasting from his laptop for a week; I have done that years ago for 40 days (or so I understood).  Now I felt that I don't really idolize my laptop.  I can do without it, but one thing I am trying to think if I can do without my friends.  True, the Bible talks about fasting from food, and it is understood that fasting means being focused on one thing.  Like for example, when Jesus fast, He is focused on finding out about himself and being connected to God.  Indians talks about isolation for introspective purposes, and it is same with Buddhism or whatever Eastern culture had. 

So I am sitting on the deck this cool Saturday morning, relaxing with laptop on my lap.  It feels good to be out here, so peaceful and quiet.  Sure, they may think I am idiotic to be out here alone.  Especially since we planned this weekend for deaf reunion and fun times.  But I felt I need time alone

I keep hearing some sounds, and I wonder what is going on.  Sounds like shotguns.  At least I know no one is intending to kill me. 

(Censored)  I never dream I would ever find a girl of my striking similiaries, and yet she turns me down.  I have told Charlene and some others that if 8th girl told me no, I will never marry again.  Well, I have asked (censored) and I am not backing down.  Sure, I will let her go, and she would never suspect that I am still mindset on her.  I think since I cannot control her by my letters, surely I can pray until my faith can move the mountains.

Oh God, I long for some peace and quiet.  No Internet access here, so I am bit unable to do things I can do.  So I think I will set up my laptop so I can do more.  Like for example, emails by Outlook and more of photo programs and my BB programs should work together too.

I told Mark that since Internet give me so much information that it is almost unnecessary to have programs.  Well, basking here in the beautiful Saturday morning, being cool and breezy, proves me wrong.  I thought it was interesting how Jay and Ricky both prefers mountains over the beach, and how I prefer beach.  With all my city friends, I get the impression that country hicks would prefer mountains, whereas city slickers would prefer beach life.  In fact, there is more life at the beach than in the mountains.  More people.  Bars.  And all.  Internet access too.

Looks like 40 people came for the weekend.  It is nice to see all my friends from the former deaf world.  It is also nice to see my sisters too.  My lifestyle is really becoming demanding, and I am starting to miss my Virginian lifestyle.  I should have brought a novel along.

Well, I am out of things to write about.  Just to say that we were looking for a cabin so we can sleep last night.  I was the one who took the lead to look for it.  I finally found the cabin, and was so excited how nice it is, but jealousy took control of women, that Ricky's and Leon's got to sleep there after all.  I couldn't help but think about how Amy and Alma got what they wanted.  I guess I have people bowing down to my whims way too often when I am growing up and it is time for me to bow down to others. 

I have been trying to bow down to God, but found it so difficult....

Methinks I will take a stroll now.  Alone."

I did go for a stroll, but Leon found me.  I was hoping to walk the opposite way, so I won't happened on my friends.  Alas I didn't know which way they went, so here I went the same way they went.  Then eventually I met up with my sisters and we walked back to the cabin together. 

It certainly is a beautiful day.  I was happy that God blessed us with a beautiful day.  We got to the cabin and enjoy our dinner of mountain pies.  I had mine without much meat, so it was a nice for change.  I am getting tired of so much meat that my friends I am with lived on.

Sunday morning I preached about creation and that God give us the power to control over the world.  I should ask Leon for that video and post it on Internet so my friends can look at it.

Saturday evening we had a frolic time after the supper of hot dogs.  We play Rook and some play Snitz.  Finally it was too late to reasonably continue in Rook game, Paul and I decided to go upstairs.  Then we start throwing stuff at each other, because the upstairs are open with only half walls.  We did have fun that night.

Monday evening I drove to see that house that I thought it would nice to buy if I am rich.  I wish to buy that house as it is located along the creek where Mark grew up playing.  I thought if I am rich, I would buy that house and give to Mark for him to live in.  But I am not rich, so I didn't buy it.  I didn't even stay long to find out how much the cost.  I should think that price is staggering, because it is very nice house.  Four bedroom and each have it own bathroom!  I never seen a private home like that.  It was raining hard that evening.

When I was driving there, I skidded on the wet road and bumped into the car in front of me.  I was relieved to find that I didn't cause any damage.  Of course, I was talking on my Blackberry, which is unsafe in rainy weather.  I almost thought of telling Mark to come over to the house and look at it, as it is just up the road from Mark's house. 

Oh, it is a beautiful house.  With 3 acres, I should have enough to have a big garden.  With rainy weather, I always feel the mood to stay in the house, and being in that house surely make me wish to have a office at home right there.  Where the residents have their computer, it is right beside the sliding doors to the deck and that gives a nice view of rainy weather outside.  I sure envied that office.  And they even have a office right beside the master bedroom.  Oh, God, just let me be rich just once and buy that home.  But I would be even more happy if I get to build my own house.

August 22, Wednesday morning I got up early.  I woke up at 3:30 so to take Jay Edwin to the Baltimore airport.  He flew to Oklahoma to stay for a week.  I promise my boss to get back to my work at 11 AM, but I arrived there at 8 with few stops for a snooze.

Ah, a week alone in my home!  Thursday evening I talk with Mary Jo Bartosh on VideoPhone and I had fun talking with her.  She keep wishing to visit her sister, Amy.  She ask me how much it cost to buy tickets for train or for bus.  The fare came up rather close, only 50 cents difference.  Still, I thought train is much more fun and a little cheaper, so I secretly bought it and email it to myself and Amy.  I should have forward it to Mary Jo, but I didn't have her email address.

And my, Mary Jo and Amy was so excited about Mary Jo is coming to Lancaster on September 9.

I relaxed well on Friday afternoon into evening.  I got to watch all rented movies, and took a walk.  It is so relaxing to be alone.

Saturday I slept in late and then went to Hersheypark alone.  It was kind of fun to be free to do whatever I want, rather than see if my company agrees.

Saturday evening it downpour rain, and I was disappointed to miss the fireworks, celebrating Hersheypark's 100th year.  That means Hersheypark has been around as long as Great-great aunt Edith Burkholder has been alive.  But at least I got to see the Broadwalk.  Hopefully soon, I will get to experience more of water fun there.  Maybe next summer.

On way home I stopped to wash my clothes at the laundromat.  It was rather late and I was so sleepy.  I put the clothes in the washer and then go went to Wal-mart to wait out the time.  After putting my clothes in dryer, I slept in my car to wait out the time.  Here, I slept too long, and I was awaken by a cop.  He realized later that I am deaf and couldn't hear the knocking of whatever he tried to do.  But his flashlight is what woke me.  I was embarrassed, but was puzzled why he had to do that. Do theives or troublemakers frequent at that laundromat?  I don't know.

After retrieving my laundry, I went straight home.  When I got everything in the house, I realized that I forgot to turn off the lights inside the car.  So I went back to turn it off, and saw that same cop came to my house.  Oh he has my wallet, but I sure felt like I was stalked.  He left, and I was puzzled over this, but trust nothing will come out of this.

Sunday morning I went to Crossroad Christian Fellowship.  It was interesting to see Jacklyn Kreider interpret and she did a good job.  But the preacher really touch the subject that is very dear to me.  What stood out to me was what he said that the Bible mentions things will happen, not maybe.  I have known that for long time, so it is nothing new.  But it is refreshing to be reminded, especially when faced with unbelieving Christians everyday, which make me prefer not to talk about my convictions of Christian living.  And recently I thought of something.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 is part of God's will for everyone of us, but do we really practice it?  We may interpret it to mean that we should live a life of prayer. What hits me is what if everyone took it literally and do it?  Chances we will pray mightily and change the world as we know it.

Monday evening I was puttering around on my computer.  I had a sudden inspiration to see if I could start a business on my computer.  Tuesday evening I thought I better get the lawn mowed before I pick up Jay on Wednesday evening.  I drove home from work and got message from a Belizean girl.  A girl from Spanish Lookout by name of Chris...and I guess her last name is Koop.  I am not sure, but she say she don't know me.  But she knows Fermin Cal.

She told me that Fermin got fired, because he only come when he feels like it.  I felt sorry for him, but I wish he would learn to go to work no matter what.  After all, he is the only one that keep touch with me by computer.  Jeovani did few times, but Fermin does it the most.  I felt kinship with those who talk with me alot on Instant Messaging.  What's more, Fermin even have Gmail.  I like it when my friends have Gmail account, because that means I can chat with them and get that chat history saved in my Gmail account.

Then when I thought I am done talking with her, I got MSN from Elvira Nunez, Ben Trujillo's sister.  Everything is fine with him, I am glad to hear that.  Ben is working for construction.  I felt sorry to hear that, because he said he likes easy work but earn well.  He did try driving trucks for awhile, and I sure wonder why he stopped.  I am glad to hear that he has a girlfriend in Belize.  I hope that he forget about going to USA.

But that brings me other flashbacks.  I remember why Ben want to come to America.  He came to learn.  But because green card is not that easy to get and schools that accept him without green card is pricey.  That gives me a longing to go back to Belize and have English classes for the deaf down there.

After done talking with Elvira and Chris on MSN, I checked my email.  Fermin invite me to join onto his Xanga account.  I didn't use it, but I sure wish he would use MySpace or Facebook.  Chris have Facebook, but so far, I didn't see her as my friend yet.  Maybe Joel would read this and convince all the boys, especially Fermin and Jeovani to have MySpace, so I can know what's going on with them.  And I know those two boys would love to have a free account like that.  But maybe Facebook would be better, as Joel's friend, Paul Clark, has that.  And it is easier to get networks done on Facebook.  It would be so nice if CDI would have a network on there, so we can keep each other posted on what's going on with each other, all former staff and now.  Also the students too.

After done talking with Elvira, I went out to mow the lawn.  It was dark when I finally got done.  When I returned to my home, I saw that I got a call from Nelson Zimmerman.  I called him on TDD, and was glad to see my TDD program working.  We chatted a bit, and I told him about deaf supper at Hahnstown School. 

Wednesday evening I went to pick up Jay.  I saw that MySpace do have Belizeans on there.  I was surfing around about Belize, because as I mow the lawn, I start brainstorming about going to Belize.

I think I found a niche in my life.  It is like Jacklyn says on her Facebook--well, it is her favorite quote, the same quote I have read before--"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. Go for that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive." (Harold Whitman).  When I think about living in Lancaster County, I don't feel alive like I do when I think about living in Belize.

Anyway, I did find Belizean group on MySpace and I also found Belize network on Facebook.  And I thought we do need a network for CDI on Facebook.  I tried inviting some, but none applied.  Even Reynold say something about he don't understand Internet very well.  Well, they have someone down there who would understand--Joel Reed--and they can ask him for help.

And it also make me feel alive to dream about having an Internet business.  Yesterday afternoon I tried to find some online counselling and some online sign language tutoring, also online or virtual English class for deaf online...and I couldn't find any...not one.

I knew that I will have the cutting edge here, so with less competition, I can make money good enough to live on if live in Belize, especially consider how many deaf people would use Internet.  I even thought of teaching sign language in Belize for pay.  What's more, I was surprised at how much it cost to get online counselling.  Talk about $30 for mere email!  Here I was thinking more like $20 for a hour.  But I suppose that it takes me hours to write this one email. <Smile>

Last Sunday evening, I went to Andy Zelinski's house and we play croquet.  It is my first experience to play that game, and I saw it for the first time alive in Belize.  So it is interesting experience to play it.  It did get dark when we finally are done, but Mark did win. 

After the game, Andy and I got inside and we talked awhile.  I was telling Andy this dream of mine, and he said that sounds good.  He said he even thought of doing that for teaching Spanish online.  I got an inspiration that I can start an Internet business with Andy and Mark.  Just think Andy knows sign language, so he can teach deaf people to read, write, and maybe speak Spanish, and Mark has computer know-how, so he can be my assistant to teach deaf people online how to use computers.

But I didn't share that with anyone until now, mostly because Mark is too agnostic for me to share that dream with him.  I did say a bit about it with Leon last evening for the first time.

Now I am getting really serious about having an Internet business, and keeping in tab with friends.  Yesterday afternoon I even look at some Belizean estates for sale.  I even saw one land for sale, and man, I really covet that piece of the land.  Not far to Belize City, and few miles from cruise ship harbor, and good piece to have a garden, and build a fine home.  Being close to cruise harbor make it possible for my home to be a tourist's place.  I can easily have a hotel and restaurant, which can means a good business for deaf people in Belize.  The price?  Staggering millions! <grief>  362 acres with beach!  Oh please give it to me!

I wanted to pray all night last night, but Jay keep staying up late.  I don't know what time he went to bed, but I felt that Friday is my best chance to pray without ceasing until the dawn.  I want to pray that I can get a land in Belize, but first I want to pay off all my debts before I would move to Belize...or even travel to Belize.

Paul and I still brainstorm about going to Belize on January 30, but I want to pay off my debts first.  ....

.....still dreaming....

and praying....

Last evening was enjoyable enough.  I got to visit with Irvin Fox and few other people.  Sarah Louise, Delores, and Charlene are planning to go to First Deaf Church Sunday morning.  So I suppose I would see them there.  The supper was good.

Then I had an idea.  I kidded about going to Belize for one week, then go to Hawaii for one week, then return home.  Over all ticket?  $879.  Not bad.  Alaska included?  $1280!  Oh ouch. 

Oh dear, I must pay off my debts first!

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767
SMS:   717-538-9648
Phone: 1-800-541-7172

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767
SMS:   717-538-9648
Phone: 1-800-541-7172