Burky's Blog

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Dear Friends;

It has been a long time since I did this "e-newsletter." With few interesting events lately, I felt I have enough to write a letter. I figured that I would wait until after I went to Writer's Conference in CLP that I would write something. But with a full week before Easter, I didn't feel like it or I don't have time.

Finally I am writing again. Right now, I am reading the end-time prophecies. I see that "book" I am reading is certainly written by those who believed like Seventh Day Adventists. Perhaps, I should study about that religion a bit closer.

Reading that "book" help me see myself. I sure seems to be bit sensitive concerning spiritual matters. It angers me more easily when I see obvious sins than it used to. Perhaps it is the unbelief that angers me more than pride does, because I don't get offended as much by pride.

Or would it? I am not around people who have a cocky way and seems to have an air of self-sufficiency. I believe that is the kind of pride that God hate so much. We may say we are proud of our friends, nieces, or nephews; but that is more like being pleased with them than to be pleased with our ability. The Bible teaches one-anothering, so I believe it is all right to say "I am proud of you."

Different people may have different opinion on this subject, so you don't have to agree with me on this. I am sure I have written many things that I felt strongly about, and you probably silently disagree with me.

What I was reading lately about end-time prophecies is rather aggravating to me, because it keep saying this Scripture does not mean that way, but it is really something figurative. Even my church interpreter have somewhat similar problem. I know at least one among you who reads this letter have the problem of not believing in the Scriptures and accepting it to mean exactly what it says.

I long for every Christian to have the child-like faith and accept the Scriptures in exactly what it says. If you can read any other book or letter—and understand it—surely you can understand the Scriptures. If everyone would think this way, there would be a lot less divisive spirit! So much less! A sincere Christians never argue the exact wording in the Scriptures, but so many of them are quick to feel that the Scriptures are too deep for us to understand. They are too quick to spiritualize everything, rather than just taking it exactly what it says.

One point I am bit more forgiving is because all of you are born and raised in a Christian home. Because of that, it is easy to take figurative meaning first before the literal meaning. We hear figurative meaning often, because our ministers are like scientists who would find the same idea and apply it in different way, in which they discovered new ideas. Like for example, James 2:10 says, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." I have heard that verse many times at Bible Study last winter, being used to apply different areas. There is nothing wrong with that, because we are born and raised Mennonites, which means we knew our Bible from childhood up. However, I sometimes think it would be better if they teach Bible to mean exactly what it says in school. In other words, read and accept the whole Bible literally first, then think figurative later. If there are something we don't understand by taking it literally, do we have to understand it? Why don't we wait few days or maybe years before we can understand it?

I believe that Revelation is not understood before is because it is not the time yet to understand it. People seems to be strangely drawn to mysteries; I wonder if that has to do with our sinful nature. When Revelation is really at hand, I am sure God would reveal it to us more plainly.

John Dan Burkholder once shown me a book about Daniel's end-time prophecies and that book explains Revelations to refer to time between Ancient Era and Modern Era. You know, in Revelation 20, it says that an angel will lock up Satan for 1000 years, and it is 1000 years between the fall of Roman Empire and the Renaissance Era. John Dan said it seems true, but he didn't know if it is true. I agreed with him. Now I am beginning to wonder if that is the prelude to what is really coming. You know, Jesus said as in the days of Noah, so will the days of His second coming be. We see increasing homosexuality and other sins becoming more blatant. If we know the history of Roman Empire, we see that they are very civilized in their day. So are the America of our day. I read once that the depression occurred every 75 years; it is just that the Great Depression was worst. Now, people are talking about this Depression was worst than the Great Depression as we used to know. Perhaps the depression of every 75 years increase its intensity as time goes on? So too does that means that the 1000 Dark Ages years are the prelude of what is to come? Jesus came only once, and that is finished; now He will come second time. Does that means we are nearer to the end of times as we know it?

Never mind, let us rest in peace with Jesus.

What I was reading is rather fallacious—very much so. It talks about the importance of worshiping on the Sabbath, on the Seventh Day. It says that the early church worship on the Seventh Day until about 300 A.D. when Nicene Council ruled that we are to worship on first day of the week. It says Sunday is the day we worship the sun god, so they change it to Sunday. I do believe that Roman Catholics do keep the same practices of Babylonian worship—they only merely change the name to make it seem Christian. I do know that Ancient Romans worship sun god and call Sunday after their god, as they do call all other days of the week after their gods. Even some months are named after their gods. That is why early Christians refuse to use those names for a long time until finally it become a taboo. Even with all this fact, we still worship on the first day of the week, because Jesus rose on the first day of the week and there are records in Acts that the disciples assemble together on the first day of the week.

I got a bit off the point here, but what I am trying to say that author studies the history and say that the Bible should say this way or that. I hate that, because it discredit God's omnipotence and omniscience that everything is under His control. If God cannot lie, then why do we believe that it is translators who confuse the Scriptures? If God is omnipotent, everything is under his control—even the translators! Just because one Bible say it that way and other Bible say it another way does not means the main message has been changed.

One friend mentions about one prophet ask one man to smite him, and that man refused, so that prophet told that man he will be killed because he refuse to obey. She cannot understand that so she ask her friend who is also the pastor's wife about it. That pastor's wife told her that it is translation that the meaning get stifled and lost. She didn't believe it means exactly what it says.

I was wondering where in the Bible that say that until recently. I was reading about Elijah, and that story was in with Elijah. I understand it to mean exactly what it says. I believe that once when you are intimate with God, you can almost do whatever you want. James say that Elijah is the man with same passion as we have, and he prayed earnestly for no rain. After 3 and half years, he prayed again and it rained. I ask my friend if he thinks Elijah was judging the Israel by praying for that punishment on them. He admitted he never thought of it that way, and with some afterthought, he thought maybe Elijah was being merciful. That gave me a new thought: so mercy and judgment can mix! King Ahab didn't die from famine; there are no record that any Israelite did. So that was mercy; to remind them to return to God. By punishing them for their idolatry, they have their chance to repent. And the Bible did record that Elijah was not fully dressed by our standards (2 Kings 1:8). Putting all these thoughts together, I got the reason that we will often do what we want to do.

I have often heard it said that Psalms 37:4 is explained this way that if we delight in God we will desire what He desire. If we read it and accept it to mean exactly what it says: it would mean we will get exactly what we want after we delight in Him! When we give to our friends, they often want to return favors. Why can't we think God is not any different than those He created after His own image? Just because we never experience foretelling the future events does not mean that when the Bible mentions prophesying really means preaching. The Webster Dictionary still say prophecy means foretelling the events. Just because we never experience healing and miracles does not mean that Mark 16:16-18 is not for our day. One reader of this letter explains and spiritualize the Great Commission by saying that we do talk about Bible with our neighbors, quite overlooking that it is including foreign missions. He even explain and spiritualize 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to mean we are to live in the spirit of prayer.

It really angers me to think all those Christians are not accepting the Bible to mean exactly what it says. Think about it. If one say this Bible really means this way and other say no, it means another way...who is right? We don't want to call God a liar. We don't want to say His Word is a liar. Whatever make us to think that God don't want an intimidate relationship with us?! The point is: the Bible is always right, so why can't we all agree and accept the Bible to mean exactly what it says?!

That is why that same reader who spiritualize the Scriptures also say that he don't see things clearly. He is more willing to be blind to obvious truths and call it humility. Walking in light also means we understand everything clearly, because we can see it. Jesus upbraideth the disciples because of their unbelief; likewise I am moved to upbraideth all Christians who feel this Scripture say this way and that. Sin cannot accept the truth, therefore it will resort to Gnostic methods: spiritualize Jesus and His Word. Sin is serious, so wake up!

There are some mysteries in the Scriptures that we don't really understand, so therefore we have to accept by faith. We cannot fathom that God is from everlasting past, neither can we understand how Jesus can be God incarnate. We cannot understand the depth of living by faith and by the Word. We don't understand the spiritual warfare. Even so, the key factors of the Scriptural living are clearly explained and are meant to be understood!

Just because we didn't get answers to our prayers does not mean that we are not praying in God's will. Just because Jesus said, "Whatsoever you ask in my name, believing, you shall receive." does not mean that "in my name" is talking about God's will. We have always prayed in Jesus' name, so we have been doing it for years. We have been agreeing that we should pray in Jesus' name, because He is our Advocate.

One thing I do agree with the Mennonites: it is much easier to have church standards to keep us from falling away than to obey the Scriptures to do something better—to keep us close to God at all times. It is easy to pray every morning and every evening than it is to pray persistently and incessantly until we receive the answer. It is easier to dress modestly and avoid evil places than it is to pray for God's power before going into the world preaching His word. I KNOW! I have tried it! But then eventually when I am no longer enthused about Christian life, my lively nature cannot stay stagnant as many people can. Then I become blatant sinner and go to all wicked places and do wicked things, just because Christian living is so discouraging and boring.

Before the Writer's Conference, my life was becoming stagnant. No job is to be found to vary my life a bit and I am stuck with my family. I accept that, but I noticed that my thought life is not as it used to be. Even my book that I was writing was put away and haven't been worked on for weeks. I have no inspiration to write a Christian spiritual help book anyway. Even I was reading Christian books, like Meredith's Book of Bible Lists, I noticed that I wasn't as enthused about what I am reading as I used to be. I knew I was crying for something different!

I pray and ask, but receive not. I remember how I used to be able to pray long hours, but now I can't. It is almost a torture to stay kneeling for more than 15 minutes.

At Writer's Conference, things start to change, fortunately. Maybe it was a blessing to visit John Dan's home and maybe it was a blessing to meet old friends at CLP. I don't know, but all I know that I felt better after coming home from Virginia. Then the whirlwind week before Easter; 105 customers on Thursday and 154 customers on Saturday. Even some orders were not received, because of jumble and mumble among 154 dozens of dinner rolls and 70 of them are on order! There are too many walk-ins and then those who came late for their order got stranded because their orders got sold to walk-ins. Even some latecomers mourned over that dinner rolls are all gone.

Plus, we had revival meetings at Meadow View starting on my sister's birthday (April 9) evening which continued to Sunday evening. The visiting preacher from Hanover, PA, preached 6 messages, which includes Good Friday morning and Sunday morning. I didn't feel enriched by his messages, but I did find them interesting. I knew that God is working with me and I felt excited by what He is doing. I teetered between going to PA for Easter weekend or stay home to experience all meetings. Finally I decided to stay. I am glad I did stay, although I knew I would say I am glad I went to PA if I went.

At Writer's Conference, I decided to get a book from the library at CLP—just something to read, because it is not easy to talk with strangers and I prefer to let Janet Martin, my interpreter and her cousin, to live their own life. I got the book, Listening Prayer. One CLP employee saw me reading it and she told me that someone did read it before me and wasn't impressed by it. She explained that books that go into CLP library didn't always get proof-readed. I knew that CLP library is really a collection of books that CLP have ordered and read to see if they want to sell it or not. Some books in there are bought, so those on LightUnit staff can read and make sure that the schoolbooks that CLP are publishing are factually correct. My love of books overlooked that fact, so I read almost everything that catch my fancy while I worked at CLP.

One reason that caught my fancy about that book, Listening Prayer, was because it is published by Whitaker House. I like Whitaker House books; I am very aware that that publishing company are strongly Pentecostal. I like their enthusiastic upbeat approach to Christian living. They don't have any martyr's spirit as Mennonite books sometimes show.

I am done reading that book now, so I would have to find ways to get that book to Janet for her to return to CLP library as soon as possible. I can see why Mennonites are not impressed by that book; it mainly talks about listening to God's voice. Maybe I should not say all Mennonites, but pretty much of them, I would say. It is the same reason they don't understand how the Bible would talk about the characters being directed by God. There are many records that God spoke to people. Like for example, how does Abraham hold conversations with God? I remember once a minister wonder how they can know for sure if it is God talking. Listening Prayer confirms that God still does speak to people audibly today. What is so interesting to me from that book is one man's testimony that he always thought that everyone heard from God directly until later years he found out that most Christians don't have a real-time conversations with God! I sure envy that man.

So for that reason, I have been praying for God's blessing in my life. I noticed how many mistakes I have made, and how it would have been avoided if I am really intimidate with God. I didn't know how to go from here, even though I still want to move to Belize. I have asked girls and they all but one turned me down from the first attempt. I have been looking for a job that I can do at home, and I failed every time, thus losing my money. It is the very reason why I felt so inadequate in myself and I became crazy about chasing after God.

Even I felt afraid of publishing my book, because what if it won't sell? The reason I felt bit afraid was because I know it is not very popular book. In some ways, it will gladden a serious Christian seeker, but it would be a wet blanket to some long-time Christians. Should I omit the chapter on the teachings of the Bible? If I do, the book may sell better. But then, the church problems and divisive spirit may not get fully solved. The complacency of some Christians may not get shaken. I just don't want to lose more money!

Therefore, I felt desperate need for God than ever before. Thanks for your continued prayer and support, even if you don't always agree with me.

Sincerely yours,

Omar Burkholder

April 14, 2009