Burky's Blog

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February 25, 2009

I got few feedbacks concerning my spiritual thoughts in my last letter. I found them interesting because they are basically the same to what I was taught. What change my way of thinking was when I read a biography of a prisoner who got saved while in solitary cell. He was sentenced to 50 years, but got released within 3 years. God certainly didn't forsake His own. He heard that man's cry when he was in jail the first day, and he thought 50 years is like rest of his life, so he just pray, not being bound by time. He prayed for several hours, and God heard. He heard peace-penetrating words audibly from God Himself, and few days later he got KJV Bible, which is uncommon for a prisoner of solitary cell to receive anything from outside other than food and water.

It is a challenge to read the Bible with a open mind, like you are reading it for the first time. Just think, if you are a street-hardened criminal and suddenly you are saved, then you got the Bible, and instinctively knew it is Word of God, then you read it for the first time in your life. Since you don't know where to start, so you read it like any other book, right from Genesis!

Of course, with all the time in the world, thinking you are jailed for 50 years, you have plenty of time to read the Bible many times. You have no outside help to help you understand the Bible.

I am curious what contradictions did he see in the Bible. Or did he accepted those contradictions as norm and focus on what he understand? Since he was saved before he ever read the Bible, basically because he heard about that wonderful God while he was breaking the law and everything was going for him. Then when he got thrown into the solitary cell with 50-year sentence, he remembered about that God, and cried to Him, "If You are out there..."

Kneeling for several hours, then God finally spoke.

Since that book claimed to be an autobiography, it gave me a fresh look at the Bible. There must be something more to what was taught to me...

This morning, I decided put all my books on the shelves, and saw I still have room for more. Of course, I languished, thinking about some of my books got sold at the yard sale. I dusted and cleaned most of the shelves, and it looks more homey than ever. Still, I would like to categorize some of the books. I did the basic categorizing, but I was thinking I would like to do some sub-categorizing as well.

It is rather warm outside, very beautiful and sunny with 51 degrees. I am not sure about wind though. The last time I walked without coat, I did feel bit chilly, because it was windy. If it wouldn't for wind, I would be fine.

It is bit chilly, but I got warmed eventually, because walking is an exercise. I walked all the way to Potomac River and wish I could stay there for awhile. I sure wonder how many miles I have walked in total.

I stopped at the library to check emails, and I found more feedbacks to my spiritual thoughts. I am thankful for them. It looks like I am not alone in my thoughts. I knew I am not, even if I may be the only one to think this way in my little world. Although, no one so far really agrees with my idea of Conference, where several churches agreed together. One even say Acts 15 does give the idea of Conference. I wasn't sure if she meant Conference meeting or Conference as in collection of different church groups. If she meant the meeting, well, I am not oppose to that either. I do enjoy meeting new faces, and to hear and see who all agreed on the Bible. It is just that the idea of all churches agreed on same rules more than just the Bible itself seems not a good thing to me. Because every area in the world have differing culture.

I am just trying to find ways to avoid all church splits in future. I am just trying to find ways to avoid it at all costs, because when it splits, the divine power that God want to show through the church diminished. I got some ideas from Secret of Their Strength, and also some from The Heavenly Man. Worse, some people get mental breakdown simply because of church split. And even worse, I felt it is a grievous sin, because the Church is suppose to be the Light of the world! It is as sinful as divorce in my mind.

The Bible Study tonight (Wednesday) was very interesting. It was about how we as Christians are to face the world. This evening I didn't have any Bible verses to argue against what they are saying. It sure makes me feel that Leonard Eby thinks of everything, at least better than Richard Lehman does. Yet, it amuse me how he keep encouraging us not to waste time. My personal opinion of what is world is everything around us. It is everything temporal, not eternal. If you lose them and got irritated over it, then your heart is in it, rather than God alone.

Let us be like Abraham who was willing to sacrifice Isaac in mind that Jesus mentioned wherever your heart is, there your treasure is also. I like my computer very much and one day I decided to test myself. I went on 40-day fast, not to use the computer at any time during those 40 days. I succeed, and that is when I realize how much undue attraction I have to it. The same true with my blackberry. I realized that I didn't miss it when I didn't have it. Some of my friends say they have to have it with them at all times. That intoned the kind of spirit I don't want to have. I didn't like one of my friends who said he went crazy when he lost his blackberry, that he had to buy a new one that night! The following day, he found a better deal, but it was too late!

March 9, 2009

I thought I had enough sleep last night, but apparently my body disagreed. I again got dozy while reading stuff on the computer and decided to take a nap. I didn't like taking nap, because then I couldn't go to bed at 8 and wake up at 3 and get on with living. I have no problem waking up at 2:45 AM, but I do have problem getting to bed at 8, so I don't have to take nap throughout the day.

I must say, I long for living in Belize, because there are more activities there than at home. I left Jay's because at home I would have more activities. I do have more activities, but not enough to suits me. I kind of wishing for a job, but with economy as it is, I kind of give up hoping for one. If anything, I am hoping for my own home-based business.

I have mentioned about online counseling. I am still aiming for that, but the problem is advertising cost money. I suppose I can pray hard enough that God would answer and make everything possible in His time.

Yesterday, Mama called the airlines concerning how much it cost for Susan to change her flight from June 24 to before June 11. I ask her to pick two weeks, using Julia and Susan's free miles to fly to Belize. The date is set June 9-24. Alas, I couldn't fly home with Susan on June 24. She would be flying into Dulles and I would be flying into Ronald Reagan. It would be my first time to fly into Ronald Reagan. Our family never went there before. I recall we used to go to BWI all the time, until the Showalters told us about Dulles is often cheaper. Julia was the first one to fly to Dulles to Lisa's wedding back in 1995. We have been using Dulles ever since, although we go by what is cheapest ticket, choosing between Baltimore (BWI) or Dulles (IAD). Now I am a first timer in my family to Ronald Reagan.

I was bit disappointed because I was kind of hoping to fly into Cancun, but Mama said, with free miles, it don't matter where we are going. That's true; it is just that I never been in Mexico, and it would be nice to be able to add that country to my list I have been to. And other reason for my disappointment was that I prefer flying American Airlines from one of Washington D.C. Airports with stopover in Miami into Belize, because that is often the shorter flight. The shortest flight I have ever experienced into Belize is flying from BWI to Belize with stopover in Charlotte, NC. When you are flying alone, you would prefer going on the shortest flights, because you don't want to waste time puttering around on the airport if you have no one to visit to and enjoy the sights on the airport with.

Still, I am looking forward visiting Belize; it would be a variant from day-to-day life around here. I am hoping to make a full use of those two weeks there.

I really enjoyed Zac Poonen's Jesus Conference in Beaver Springs last weekend. I even got some books that he wrote and had him autograph three of them. He ask me what is my name, and I tried telling him, but he don't seem to understand me. So I decided I would just have to email him.

I have been reading his books after I am done reading The Christian's Secret to A Happy Life. I also read Comfort for Troubled Christians, that I borrowed from Julia. Now those books that I have been reading is read and put away, I decided to take up reading Zac Poonen's books. I think, so far, my favorite would be A Good Foundation. I have read The Purpose of Failure and Needed Men of God. Now I am reading Principles of Serving God.

I wrote in my last letter that I couldn't think of conflicting Scriptures when reading his message online. I couldn't think of any while he was preaching last weekend. When I was reading his books, well, that is different story. Most of it is as Biblical as Mennonite books would be; it is just that he seems to think that Jesus isn't as human as we are. I know many Christians think this way, so it is nothing new. He probably didn't intend to seem that way, but his words are good to target against those selfish Christians. A Good Foundation points out that we must repent of our sins, which I agreed 100%. We must practice self-renouncing life daily.

I was surprised to meet Reynold Koop at Zac Poonen's meetings. We had some discussions about our past, and we forgave each other. It was such a joy to be able to talk face to face and learn what is happening around us. Few times when I want to tell him, but he keeps talking, that I felt we are certainly living in last days, because so many Christians I know are becoming very serious about their Christian life.

I slept overnight at Jay's over the weekend attending Zac's meetings. At Jay's I had unlimited access to Internet, so I finally got caught up reading all emails I got from friends. Especially the ones that you have to click to get to websites.

One especially stood out to me. It talks about the end of the world on December 21, 2012. It was the deaf man himself talking about it. He actually admitted that he is not ready to die. I suspected that he is not a Christian, but his vlog is interesting. He was talking about the huge meteor that is coming our way. Many countries are having and working on having laser guns and missiles ready to break up that meteor into small unharmful pieces, but would it really work? It has never been done before, and that meteor is very huge. He also mentions about the earth's sift. The North Pole and South Pole isn't in same place as before. It is same place on earth, but the position of the earth in the universe sifted. The last few years there are more forces of the nature than ever before in recorded history. Never before did hurricane hit New Orleans twice within few years, and to think it isn't fully recuperated from the last devastating hurricane. I admitted that when I watch that vlog (video log), I felt excited that Jesus is coming sooner than we think. In fact, I kind of want Him to come now.

I am writing a chapter on few teachings that is not practiced by many churches today. I am bit stumped on 1 Corinthians 11:1-16. I have always assumed that it did say woman should wear headship veiling according in its context. I read few translations, and I came across something interesting. In verse 15, some translations means "instead" while KJV use "for". I decided to look up the Greek meaning of that "for", and did indeed find that it can means instead. So after all, the long hair is used instead of headship veiling? And for a long time, I was puzzled over verse 16, " But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God." But if. Sure, we can say that is just English translations; it is just that I prefer to remember that God is omnipotent and omniscient enough to think about what translations can lead. So if any man was contentious, then we shouldn't concern ourselves with headship veiling? It sure seems to agree to that we are to dwell peaceably with all man.

And then what about the earlier verses? Are they really saying that if a woman has a short hair, then she should be veiled, but if she have a long hair, she don't have to? One lady I know say she don't like letting her hair grow long, because her hair would "puff" up, rather than to lay down her shoulder nicely. My hair is same way. I cannot make it look nice when it is shoulder-length, yes, I have tried it once. It just seems to stand by it self, so when I have a longer hair, my head seems bigger in the back. But I haven't seen any Mennonite woman that unfortunate. They seems to all have hair flowing like a waterfall, when let down. Of course, I didn't see many Mennonite women with their hair down.

Still, I am bit unwilling to let go the idea of headship veiling. Is it because I didn't fully surrender everything pertaining to myself: my heritage, my persona, my understanding of the Bible? Zac Poonen did say that he can tell what kind of sect we are from by questions we asked him. If one ask him if he takes communion every Sunday, then he suspect that person is from Lutheran or some similar churches. If another ask him if his women wears veiling 24 hours a day, then he can suspect that person to be from Mennonites or similar groups. He said that those questions are missing the point. He was only trying to point out to us that we should focus on our spiritual life first, and if we ask questions like that to him, that is labeling ourselves as legalistic, because we are concerned about the letter of the law, rather than the spirit of the law. I agreed to that idea 100%! Then one more point he said: 24 hours. 24 hours? That got me thinking that the Bible has no say in the matter.

The argument we had about wearing headship veiling is that we can prophesy at any time, without preparation. So it is safer to wear headship veiling 24 hours a day. Plus, a sincere Christian would think about God at all times, so we believe a sincere Christian woman would want to wear headship veiling at all times because it is a symbol of power toward the angels.

The common sense that mix and match truths from different parts of the Bible to apply to headship veiling can be the same common sense that mix and match all other teachings of the Bible. That's why I can't understand why a church would be like that to their favorite doctrines, and fully neglect or overlook other doctrines of the Bible. Here's few examples: praying without ceasing literally and living abundantly and boldly. If headship veiling is literal teaching of the Bible, why isn't prayer meetings a literal teaching of the Bible? And how about praying collectively all night? The Bible did mentioned about it in Acts 12:5, didn't it?

Plus, in 1 Corinthians 11, it is said that man is to have short hair. There is no record in the Bible that Jesus would have short or long hair, other than he is Nazarene and the rules for Nazarene in the Mosaic Law say no cutting hair. Only in other historical sources did they mentioned that Jesus did have a hair flowing in the wind. Samson is a Nazarene too. And Jesus is our Perfect Example!

It sure make me think if that is why the book Common Sense went out of print. David Bercot wrote that book; he wrote Let Me Die in Ireland and Will the Real Heretics Please Stand Up? He is a good writer, so full of common sense, and he has a extensive knowledge about church history, especially during Roman Empire era. He wrote Common Sense and talks about headship veiling in there. He mentions that all the churches all over the empire had women wearing headship veiling. In other sources, it is said that is why nuns wear headship veiling today as part of tradition. Why did they stop printing that book? Is it because he discovered more truths and decided not to sell that book any more? Or is it simply because that book didn't sell according to his criteria?

Last evening we had a joy of planting our garden. It is early in March, and I recall we planted later into the March. I am hoping that if the weather get cooler, we would have a fine crop of peas like we did one year. I never forgot that one year we had so much peas that we decided to let the third picking go to waste. Later, Mama regretted it, because she found out that Richard Burkholder's family didn't get any crop of peas! It was because our garden got dried enough to plant peas before most of Mennonites in our community, and then we had long, cool spring, which peas really like. It is because of that cool spring is why so many wet gardens didn't get dried enough to start planting until it is almost too late.

If Belize grew peas in their garden, it is no wonder those canned peas didn't taste good. It really taste different than I am used to. Even Ben, a native Belizean, admitted after tasting our peas that our peas taste better than Belizean peas!

Until next time.....

--Omar Burkholder

March 11, 2009