Burky's Blog

January 20, 2009

Dear Friends;

We had a nice snow yesterday, for which I am thankful, and also because of it, I got sore muscles. Mama was shoveling the snow, and I thought she said she is too old to work too hard. She invited me to help. I shoveled the whole driveway and parking lot. Well, I didn't exactly get really sore muscles, but I do feel some tired muscles the next day.

I woke up at 3AM and help with the bakery work a bit, then I went to Labor Ready. First, I found my car wouldn't start on its own. I was dismayed to see that my headlights was on yesterday. I thought that was strange, as I have always left my headlights on and it goes off as soon as the engine shuts down. Apparently, somewhere, it must not be working much too good anymore. After all, my car is over 3 years old.

Man-made things don't last as much as they used to.

Nothing much else is new. I was determined to start making some money, and I am thankful that my parents invited me to help in the bakery. And I am also glad that they let me go to Labor Ready. So I had to get Julia's car to jump-start my car, and I was afraid I would be late. Fortunately, I got to Labor Ready in time to fill out the application form, only to find out that I forgot to bring my IDs. So I drove back home. The whole time I wasn't expecting to get work today, although that would be nice. At least I got all my laundry put away and ironed.

Then I finished making a card for CDI staff, in mind for my sister as a headcook there. I enjoyed making cards with my computer, and I do like some scrapbooking, so I did enjoy myself.

Plus, I thought about it is high time for me to get into writing letters again.

Since I find quite a collection of stamps as I clean through my possession during my move from PA back to my parents' home, I decided to make use of them. Some of them don't have number on them, so I didn't know how much they cost. One thing, though, I did notice that they are from year of 2000, and I remember they weren't sure how much postage when they were making new stamps. Now I wasn't sure how much those postage cost. I am assuming they are 30+ cents, so I am using them for my mail to Belize.

And then I have other stamps too. Because of this, I decided to write to few of my friends. John Dan Burkholder's, especially, since it has been a long time since I wrote to them, or keep in touch with them in any way.

I did think in April would be Writer's Conference at Christian Light Publication, and it would be nice if I could lodge there again.

It would be nice to see that old couple from Dayton Mennonite Church. I wonder whatever happened to them, and if they are still living in that house, and if they are still participating in deaf ministry. It would be nice if I could have update of deaf churches and churches that offer interpreted services around the world.

Last Sunday, I thought it was intriguing to note the Sunday School lessons was based on 1 Peter 2:13-3:12, targeting the doctrine of submission. Then we read for devotions based on the back of Sunday School for that Sunday in Romans 14, and the last verse goes, "He that doubeth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin."

Now, while insisting submission, where does acting upon faith fit in? How do we know when submission becomes a cover-up for our dishonest self which in reality is a fear of men? I believe as long as submitting is what makes you feel alive, knowing that you are benefiting everyone around you, you are submitting correctly. If you are fearing men, thinking you are worthy of hell when you defend the quickening spirit in you that violate the standards set by men, not by the Bible; then it is time to seek elsewhere for a better company that help you defend that quickening spirit. Today, more and more people are realizing that changing churches does not endanger one for eternal hell, except that it is done in rebellion.

Ah, attitudes. Attitudes is everything. It is by your attitude that make one thing bad, and by other men's attitude that makes the very same thing good. Everything in this life is either good—or bad. Even in dress.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23 NRSV)

An Angel says, "You can't hurt your eyes by looking on the bright side."

Those two quotes are part of my perpetual calendar I had at both sides of me. It is nice to flip to new day every day and be renewed by inspiring quotes. And it is nice to attend wintry weekly Bible Study to learn some facts concerning Christian Life.

In spite of all this, I find it intriguing that I felt immune to emotionally damaging preachings. Everything in this life is black and white to me, for this I rejoice at God's goodness to me. Submission to the Bible is not difficult at any point, like it used to be. Now I can see the perfect harmony between the contradicting teachings of the Bible. It is because of these seeming contradictions do I see err in ways of most Christians. They are either legalistic, or they took advantage of God's grace.

This coming Wednesday is Bible Study concerning God-honoring social relationships. I am now strong supporter of choosing your friends which with whom you frequent, and at same time, be impartial in action.

Some of you may be curious what is Labor Ready exactly. It is a place where people can go and get temporary jobs. You can work for that day and get paid for that day. I am hoping to get something, so I can earn few money. I am hoping to be able to multiply on it, and be able to go to Belize before Susan returns back to States. She already promised to teach in Zanesville, Ohio, come fall.

Ah, I see that today is inauguration day. It is when Obama takes over the Oval Office. Let us pray for his soul's salvation and that he seeks to benefit the world, rather than taking that office for the sake of himself.

Well, it is better I got this letter short, so I don't have to make some of my readers wasting their time reading my letters, even if I enjoy writing them. I hope to hear from you as well, so I can continue enjoy sending you emails, faxes, and letters.

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January 23, 2009

Dear Friends;

"You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed." (Joshua 23:14 NIV)

A timely message from one of my perpetual calendar. This morning, my old time friend called my mother concerning my behavior at Penn Valley Christian Retreat last November. And then I got a message from my friend yesterday on Facebook, concerning my behavior and speech in recent past.

I realized that I never really publicly confessed my sin of misbehaving and improper speech. Such conduct of mine are probably what influence my answers to questionnaire when trying to find work at Labor Ready, thus resulting them not accepting my application. Now that my application is denied, I wouldn't be able to re-apply there for another year.

It is high time for me to act upon my ambition, but I realize that I have to wait on the Lord. I would have to work for my money first and then move into investing in my business ambition.

Anyway, I realize the error of my influential behavior at Penn Valley, plus with my gang in Lancaster County. I am still glad I moved in with my parents, because I expect that I would improve. Of course, I didn't realize that the method of improving me would put me to test so severely that I got tempted to get discouraged. Yet, I purposed to stay with my parents, not moving any more until I can settle in Belize.

I am reminded by the story of King David, when he went trusting in his own power by counting his army. God send prophet to him, and Kind David did take the message to heart. He repented, but God still punish him by killing many Israelites. Imagine that the innocent have to die for the guilty. I hope that don't happened in my case, still the fact that I am reminded of my evil reputation help me realize how others may have suffered. They may even have a bad taste for Christianity, that they don't want to continue or grow into the Biblical-based Christianity.

For this, I want to say that I am sorry. I hope that you don't judge all Christians by me alone, nor do I ask you to judge them by anyone else alone. Christians, it is well said, are not perfect, but they are forgiven. We may know their past reputations and said we want nothing to do with it, but we must not forget that everyone have something good about them—even non-Christians too. Everyone have a sense of right and wrong, so if you felt that someone is wrong about something, you probably are right in that issue alone.

I felt like I am walking through the valley of death, but I fear no evil, for God is with me. I fear no one, not even those legalists. I felt like everyone kept reminding me of my past, quite forgetting that God has forgiven and forgotten, once when that person confessed his wrongs.

I don't blame them for not forgetting, because they didn't know I repented. Plus, they are human enough to remember forever.

The truth of losing job at Keystone Koating was because of my impulsiveness and not protecting my salvation with fear and trembling. "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." I was very much a fool that day, violating the company's policy of alcohol-free workplace. (The reason I didn't share this fact to everyone was because I felt God forgave me for my mistakes as I have repented of it. And what's the point of going over the same old story, if God completely forgot what He forgave? Plus, I strongly feel that they terminated my employment was because they are looking for ways to save money in this frail economy and they laid off 5 men not long before they fired me, which is why I felt I am telling the truth by saying I am laid off, although I generally say "I lost my job".) It is getting to the point that I didn't know how to answer some of the questions I had to face while trying to apply at Labor Ready. You know, in saying the truth and acting out the truth are not the same thing.

I want to say what I most likely would do in real life, not what I would want to as it is right. Like for example, one question was about, Would you buy a car from a person who stole the car? If it would be worded like this, "Would you buy a car you KNEW was stolen?" I probably would have answered no. But in my case, I am deaf, and how can I expect to always understand what people are saying? Plus, why would I buy a car if I already have one? Plus, would it ever happened? I think not. Maybe I again answer that question bit too impulsively, because if I would take time to consider, I probably would understand that question is very generic one, and I would answered that I wouldn't.

Anyway, I felt God has a special plan for me and my family and friends in all this, just as much as God has special plans for those dying for King David's sin, as well as their families, friends, and King David himself.

I realize too that I was bit much like a legalist by stressing so much on looking upon the law of liberty, and not being cooperative to those among me. For that, I apologize as well.

It is tempting to think there are gray areas such as the line between profitable stubbornness and absolute obedience to what the Spirit have revealed to you. That's where faith comes in. We don't need to worry about the gray areas, if we are focusing on Jesus for our righteousness.

Perhaps, I am being a Cat Christian by thinking about my righteousness, rather than how to incorporate my righteousness to His righteousness. I mean, I should develop more of a "C" personality to protect my salvation with fear and trembling. Am I doing what I KNOW is right, or am I merely going along with the flow?

Last evening, I went to Bible Study. We studied about relationships, and what is a Christian way to social relationships. We learned great deal, and my school best friend interpreted. After service, we got into lively discussion. I didn't say too much, because by his fruits I knew that he is not all that open-minded.

Again, with that phone call this morning, I am reminded of what I already know. It is very human to shut your mind against any more words of truth coming from the very person who does many things wrong—even if it is only seemed wrong to you. We know that Pharisees does the very same thing. They rejected Jesus because of his friendliness to any common man and because of his defiance to their laws. He points out their inconsistencies, and they didn't like him for it.

Ah, spilling that down, really help me to resolve and to remonstrate.

My friend told me that he didn't think God expect us to view life in black and white. Well, to be honest, I prefer that life is either holy or wicked, because if the gospel of Jesus is simple, the holy living should be simple as well. I got convicted by our lively discussion last night, that people who felt there are gray areas in life are the ones that don't keep gospel simple. They are the ones who fear sin rather than living boldly for God. I have long struggled against inconsistencies in my life, and now that I am free from them, so I certainly don't want to fall back in that struggling, joyless life. For this, I am determined to continue to grow into more consistent life, even if it may means pharisaic Christians may cast me out based on their own inconsistencies.

Even my mom and my sister rise against me because they felt I have false teaching. That's their privilege to think that way; it is just that I cannot help I grew up in very inconsistent family. I saw that my mother's family are more gracious than my father's family. I also saw that my mother's family are more accommodating to people around them, while my father's family disdained anyone who think differently than them. Not all his family is like that, thankfully, but if you generalize everything, you would notice that plainer people are more legalistic than those who are not very plain, and liberated people are more plainer than those who took advantage of God's grace (licensed to sin). Liberated and open-minded people tend to noticed the foolishness of earthly possession. They may have them, because it make life more enjoyable, but they don't depend their life and happiness on them. Again, this general persecptive isn't always true, because even the most worldly can be legalistic. Who I call legalistic are those who always feel angered when their code of ethics get violated, and then they shut out the very person who could be a messenger of truth, even if that person is very unChristian.  Think of all those churches who refuse to share communion with other churches, simply because of differing cultures or standards!  Then think what it would look like to know that members from opposing churches meet in heaven which wouldn't share communion while on earth!

I believed I achieved the true meaning of open-mindedness, despite of what others say. What I mean by open-mindedness is including everything in the picture. Remember, God is the creator of this Universe. He creates everything—both good and bad! But notice that where God created evil is where people choose against good. If there is no good there, then there have to be something in its place. God don't create nothingness. Everything is a matter, even air. Even mere thoughts are energy. Open-minded people would notice that focusing your thoughts on evil or negative would make you feel discouraged, thus leaving you more susceptible to temptations, whereas focusing on good make you feel encouraged, enthusiastic, quickened and less susceptible to evil or any form of negativity. Hence, thoughts are energy.

So, I beg you, my dear friends, hear the words of James, "Do not err, my beloved brethren." Just because a person did wrong things, does not mean he never did anything right. Last night's Bible Study tells us that if we focus on good points of our parents rather than bad, we can build on it. Likewise, we can do the same with anyone else. "Great minds talk about ideals, average minds talk about events, small minds talk about people."

If you read your Bible with open mind, you would notice that it talks of Spirit as a quickening power. Build on that, you would be living an awesome, liberated life ever! Sure, we would happen to do things that we don't particularly enjoy, but if we focus on God's goodness, even menial job will bring you joy. Even then, God don't expect you to continue in things unfitting to your nature or personality, if you have the power to change your life and your lifestyle.

Again, I beg for your forgiveness and for your prayers so that I may become more consistent and continue in love and truth, and follow after what quickens me in spirit. Pray, also, that I am to be strong enough to stand alone, if necessary.

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January 24, 2009

Before lunch, I was parading around in the basement, trying to recite to myself the first chapter of James. I have it pretty much memorized thus far, with the first verse on the first day of the month. Today is January 24, so that means I have memorized verses from James 1:1 to 24. After the 27^th day, I would be reviewing the whole chapter of James 1, in hope to stick the chapter in my mind. Then, you probably would call me a walking Bible! <Grin>

While I was trying to memorize the verses 19-24, I had a hard time. I was bit too excited. I had a rush of inspiration to go over and talk with the bishop Larry Weber and ask him about becoming a member at Meadow View Mennonite Church. After all, if I got baptized by immersion as a visible symbol of what happened in my heart, so why not become member at Meadow View as a visible symbol of my membership of One True Church? What arrive me to this conclusion is because John Dan Burkholder and my family is being tempted to judge me by what they see me—I am not a member at church anywhere. I hate to think my family is in danger of hell just because of me. My family has always been legalistic, which makes my Christian living so discouraging and difficult back in the day. Now I KNOW the Truth, and the truth sets me free, and no man can move me out of God's love.

I know Meadow View ministry don't approve of Belizean deaf ministry or other ministries that I supports, but that don't defer me. There are no perfect church, so what's the point of focusing on negative things concerning the Washington-Franklin Conference? I will continue in doing what I believe is right—God is no respecter of persons, which also can include any church!

Since Boonsboro Library is closed at 7pm, so I will go there first. Plus, I need to call Larry Weber and Russel Petre to see if they would be home, so I won't waste my time going to their homes only to find them absent.

So you take care until we meet again.