Burky's Blog

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When I read those words, I remembered that Julia told me Psalms 121:1 is my 90-year-old Grandmother's favorite verse.  I got the above in my daily devotional emails, and I really enjoy reading my devotional emails more and more now.

Yes, I am still learning to trust in the Lord in ALL things, and I rejoice that I am learning.

Two days ago, I got a message from my New York "ex-friend" saying that it is good that I left him alone.  I thought that was interesting, because I responded his message awhile back, saying that I will leave him alone, but my prayers will follow him.  He reply back, saying that he don't need my prayers.  But I kept my promise and I prayed for him often.  His life is very inconsistent, which tells me that he is not being honest with himself, even if he could be honest with other people.  He is not forgiving, and quick to complain.  Everyday I pray that he will feel God's love and want to follow after Jesus.  I pray that he would be believing, loving, and forgiving, just like I am.  I also pray for my brother to realize that living by grace is quite a liberating experience, but I want to warn Christians not to take advantage of liberating grace.

Why I thought it was interesting that I got another message from Louie was because I never reply back.  I realize there are some people who likes to have last word, so in order to avoid conflict, I try to choose my words carefully so my words would be complete in itself without me needing to repeat.  I mean, if someone would tell me to leave him alone, I would simply let him know that I will leave him alone, but pray for him.  Louie reply back and said he don't need my prayers.  Well, do I need to argue that one?  Do I need to have last word to emphasize his need for salvation?  No, I trust in God that my prayers would be enough.  George Mullet prayed for two of his friends to be saved everyday the rest of his life.  They got saved after he died, signifying that God answered George Mullet's prayers, even if George never witnessed it.

When I think of Louie, I think of others like him.  Now I am praying for my brother and Louie.  What I really wish and long for is that all Christians would experienced the same happiness and joy that I have.

Friday evening, before I send out my last update email, I had an interesting online conversation with my co-worker.  We got into issues relating to Christian Life.  Apparently, he thinks that I am still a sinner, or maybe a Calvinistic (believing that I cannot sin).  It is clear to me that he misunderstood my interpretations.  Like I said before, I am still learning how to live a real Christian life, so I do struggle a little with unbelieving fear.  While it is true that I felt a real freedom from fear, but time goes on, I realize that there are more fears that was controlling my life.  I felt it is part of my growing process.  I sometimes make mistakes of saying wrong things which lead others to think that I am okay with sin.

I oppose sin strongly.  I even went as far as opposing the idea of unbelieving fear.  I call that sin.  Jesus scolded His disciples for their unbelief before He was taken up in heaven (See Mark 16:14)  It was even listed as making one entitled for hell (See Revelations 21:8).  I also believe that worrying is sin.  We need to learn to keep our mind on Christ.  We need to focus on Christ alone, because it is His Name that we all will have to answer to (See Philippians 2:9-11).

I also call any instant gratification sin.  Any action that you do that make you feel good WHILE you are doing it, but give you a bad taste afterwards.  That includes going to strip clubs, drooling at porn, and practice masturbation.  Revenge is also included in this list.  Those sins are not listed in the Bible specifically, but it also teaches that Spirit will guide us in all truth.  If we are sensitive to truth, we will know what is truth.  The Bible teaches following after truth gives us a lasting joy, so any truth will never give you a bad aftertaste.  

I gotta get ready to go to work...It's Monday.

Yesterday went well.  Maybe too uneventful.  I woke up at 3 am, and I knew I couldn't go back to sleep.  I did tried, but one hour is too short to force myself to go back to sleep.  If I tried, I know when the lights go on, I would feel goggy-eyed.  I didn't like that so I decided to get up, but I did feel bit sleepy at work.  I drank two cups of coffee.  It seems to help.

I am glad that I went to bed early last night, more like 8:45pm and I woke up at midnight.  I forced myself to go back to sleep and woke up at 4am.  I feel refreshed, but I am puzzled why I am waking up so early.  What's happening to my solid all-nighter sleep?  Too much chocolate?  Not enough exercise?

Moses wanted to talk with me...or so Jay said.  I wonder if it is serious talk, or just a old-timer chat.  I didn't feel like waiting until Moses arrived, because it is almost 9pm.  I also had little sleep the night before.  I think I have sufficient sleep last night, but I am still puzzled why I am waking up in middle of night.

Moses surprised me by visiting me at work yesterday morning.  It was a pleasure to see him.

I just thought of something it is announced that we are hosting a Christmas party on December 19, like we did last two years.  If Joel and Emily comes for Christmas, they are welcome.  We are hoping that they can come, so we can have a old-time visit.  We are thinking of all old gang friends like Jason and Beth Burkholder, Ardell and Lisa Yoder, Joel and Emily Reed, and the usual.

Today is Thursday.  Ah, it is like I said, I am still growing in my Christian life.  All my talk of living an abundant life turned against me today.  If someone with "C" personality, or should I say "Doubting Thomas" would see me like I am today, they would disbelieve my declaration of joyful heart.  I would be quick to say that I didn't feel too down to the dumps as I would in the past.  I would say my hope and my belief have prevent me from going that far.  Just because Adam was doing his job of being "an inspector" does not means that he is condemning my work.  It just feels like he keep finding faults with my work, and I am feeling bit discouraged.  Perhaps the greatest fault I have is I am a daydreamer.  Ask my mom and she will tell you.  Daydreaming and concentration on work don't mix very well.

That's why I felt glad that we have Jeffery.  He is doing a very good job, and he is the first good worker I have to put up with.  Well, maybe Clinton, but Jeffery is more accommodating and less messy than Clinton.  I think Adam and the rest of management is glad for his service at Keystone Koating.  In fact, I think that Jeffery would exceed me because he can hear and he is very communicative.  Rick said that Jeffery probably have the gift of God in him.  That is probably the gospel truth, but I replied that everyone have the ability to prosper.  Jeffery is prospering well at work, and I think it is good enough that if I quit at Keystone Koating, I wouldn't be as missed as I would be if I decided to quit when I want to quit the first time.

Well, I better send off this email before it gets too long...
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Omar Burkholder