Burky's Blog

Christmas.

It is time of a year again, that we all get into festive mood.  I love Christmastime, and I am sure many people do.  In fact, quite a number admitted that Christmas is their favorite time of the year.  It is quite interesting to notice that the Bible made no mention about celebrating Christ's birth, but did mention in celebrating in remembrance of His death.  After all, it is the end of His life that gives us the greatest meaning.

It is past midnight and it is Christmas day.  I didn't see any Santa Claus and reindeer zooming across the sky.  I couldn't sleep, because my friend fussed at me.  He made me understand how Ben and Mark must have felt by the way I treated them.  Oh my, how bad I felt about it now!  Of course, they forgave me...it is just that I need to learn to forgive myself.

I decided to sign off my chat, even though many of my friends are probably sleeping.  It seems like when I have the resolve to write this email, something always came up.  Like for example, this afternoon is a good time to write this email, but here Bethany start chatting with me and then Paul Hoover shows up.  His boss want to buy a flat trailer pulled by a pickup truck.  I tried Google, and everything I can think of, but I didn't come close to what Paul knows his boss want.  I guess I understand how Jesus felt, by being so busy with all the people.  He loves all people, so the only time He ever had for Himself is to pray many nights, I presume.  I love all people and tried to make time for everyone of them, but it is those who I am in presence by flesh that I give most attention to.  Isn't that normal? :)

January, I remember how I pray everyday: "O do bless me that I may bless others and enrich my life that others who know me may know Thee also and deliver me from temptation that I may lead a holy life!"  Then into February, it was Mark's birthday on 6th, and I didn't remember Jason Burkholder that time.  March, I start pining for a closer relationship with God, and my longings affected my work life and I complained too much.  April, I finally had a breakdown and I prayed all day on April 27.  I think it is on that day, but Kerry Martin begged me to return to work.  I didn't want them to know why I stayed home, but it is like I need some time to myself.  I didn't want to pray when Jay is around, but I finally gave in that day when he came around for lunch.  That evening I had a meeting with Lewis Martin.

May brought with it a whirlwind of activities.  I went to York ASL social with Mark, and we had a good time.  That is when I started becoming more curious about more ASL socials around in the area.  Eventually, it was finally in October when I went to Camp Hill for the first time.  I enjoyed all ASL socials that I have attended.

I can't remember what all I have done last summer, but I went to Six Flags, Hot Rods Show, Hersheypark, Sandy Hook, Dorneypark, and ASL socials.  We even had deaf cabin in Pine Creek in August.  My, what good times we have had!  Even there are few dampers, but when you think about past, you tend to think about good times.  We also went to Rodeo in NJ and truck pull in Buck.  So we have plenty of things to do.

2007 was my year of awakening and reminder.  It was a year when I first learn to play Rook and became an expert in it.  It was the year when Paul stopped dating and Mike as well; thus they start hanging out with us a lot.  It was the year when Paul introduce the game of Black 13 (I think we should call it Black Trump), and I am glad for that game, because 6 of us can play.  It was the year when Mark start dating and put my friendship with him under hot water.  It was the year when I forgave all my friends and hope to continue friendships, even if it wouldn't be the same.

In February I got to talk with Frank, and we had a comfortable encounter.  It was the year when CDI start to see troubles, thus breaking my heart.  It was the year when I felt my destiny redefined.  I felt so bad about six boys I left behind in Belize, and I long to see them to have a better life.  2007...it is another year refining my life.

I felt that the years of 2005 and 2006 are years of big change and influence on my life.  Maybe they still are, as 2007 don't sparkle as much as those years, especially 2006.  In July, I got fax program via my email, so I can send and receive faxes via email.  My family are quite happy for that, although my sister Julia acquired herself a computer.  I am so glad for her.

Susan continue to love her Texan life, and my family are scheming to visit her over New Year's weekend.  I am looking forward to it already. 

In October, I faced my rocks and was forced to accept that I have no money to go to Shady Maple Smorgasbord and eat with my friends because Ardell and Lisa Yoder is in area.  Although I never felt close to Ardell as he never invited me to his MySpace, I still know him and realize he has a potential to be a better Christian.  In November, I met three friends online and planned to meet them.  But I never get around meeting one that is much closer to my age.  O well, I hope they don't get offended, because I am deaf and they are not.

December, I felt was the busiest month of the year.  Although I might think that as I am feeling that right now.  I did remember there are few times when I long for some time to myself.  I was meaning to write my update email more like weekly, but it seems to take weeks before my recipients finally think I woke up!  December 23, I got to witness Martin's family reunion.  I felt that was long overdue, and am thankful that Curtis Weaver did undertake it.  Now on Christmas Day, Burkholder's family reunion will take place at Grandpap's farm.

Oh, before I forget, March was when my grandmother Burkholder died.  It felt so unnatural to see the person I know all my life suddenly look so cold and laying there in casket.  Shortly after that I kept touch with my brother on AIM for a spell.  Later, he stop talking with me.  I sure wonder what had happened to him.  Finally I saw him again on December 8 at Ryan's in Inwood, West Virgina.  He look nice in his well-trimmed goatee.

2007 was also the year when I enjoy playing and styling my beard.  I had goatee, full beard, and shaved.  It was a year when I dyed my hair for the first time.

2007 is when I turn 30 in August and no party held in honor of that milestone.  2007 was when I seriously remember my conversion date and baptism date.  I decided to be Christian on November 29, 1991 and was baptized on October 31, 1993.  2007 was a shark reminder how long I postpone and how much I was running from God like Jonah.

Yes, I never forget Eddie told me that I am like Jonah.  Although I didn't take it as he intended, but it reminded the reality of my Christian life.  If I would take action and do what I know is right, I would be bona fide Christian today and probably already witnessed salvations of few souls.

I was disappointed in 2007 too.  I am not willing to share those facts of my friends, and it is really their business and their choices that they would fall.  But it really remind me how much things wouldn't have had happened if I would have done right in April.

Still, my new resolution for 2008 is to tone my earthly vessel and renew my body shape to keep looking young.  Athletes would need to practice often to keep fit, so I shouldn't be any different.

2007 is also the year when I got my second phone, that blackberry.  2007 is the year when I got my Gmail account.  I have had Juno for many years, but I don't use that much anymore.  I was enthusiastic into getting emails in Outlook Express, the email program in my computer.  I have had tried Hotmail and Yahoo.  Nothing works.  Finally, Mark told me about Gmail.  I ran with it, and I am loving it.  I also like Blogspot, and I am sure some of you who have Internet access may enjoy reading my http://deafdemophile.blogspot.com. 

2007 brought few changes to my telecommunicating capabilities.  In February, I start using Gmail.  In July I was able to send and receive faxes by email.  In December, Gmail start to work with AIM.  Now I can chat on AIM as I read my emails.  And I can do that on any computer connected to Internet.  I also noticed that Yahoo now have feature that I can IM and email in one window.  I had used Trillian for a long time until Mark told me about Pidgin.  I really like Pidgin as it can be themed as windows.  And my chat history on Trillian can be rolled over to Pidgin too.  I really enjoy chatting on AIM, Yahoo, MSN, and Google Talk. 

I am thankful that I can chat on AIM right on my Gmail window, and hope to see Yahoo and MSN incorporated into that as well. 

2007 brought few other changes as well.  It used to be that my snail mail address is 590 Martindale Road, but now it is 1091 Martindale Road. 

In December, there are more changes.  I was finally able to sync my blackberry to my email and calendar.  Mark told me about it, and I found that Google had improved and added more mobile features for Blackberry.  I am addicted to Google Maps on my Blackberry now.  Now I am grabbing birthdates and social events and putting them into Google calendar and synchronize my Blackberry with it.  I even got Yahoo! Go on my Blackberry as well.  Now I can read emails from Yahoo and Gmail.  I can set that my Blackberry get my Hotmail emails, but I don't get any personal emails in Hotmail, anyway.

My computer is really slowing down, so I am brainstorming to upgrade my laptop soon.  Since I would be gone to Texas for a week, I am thinking I can leave my laptop at the computer repair shop, as Mark is too busy to have time for my laptop.  I know he would have time for things he REALLY want to do, but he is alot like me, tending to do things that happened by default.  That kind of living would never get anything done.

Leon gave Amy a laptop for Christmas gift and she was really excitedly happy. I help him get it.  It has built-in webcam and I wish I had that.  But I hope my next laptop would have that.  I also wish my next laptop would have smaller screen, like 12.1" widescreen.  Well, I guess I can continue to dream and wish.

It is 1 AM now, and I am getting bit sleepy.  I can't think of anything more to say, except I would like to share my convictions as I know there are some who felt I am not even a Christian.  While I decline to claim myself pagan, I can't really say I am not Christian.  Maybe I should say I am a Bible believer, but not in practice of Biblical living.

I don't want to bore you with details, so if you are interested, I would like to outline few of my viewpoint on Christian living.  I even thought of writing a booklet, explaining my viewpoint, but I realize that my viewpoint is almost pointless if I don't actually live it.  It is like I told Bethany that to know and to do is different things.  It is far easier to know everything necessary to know, but to do it is much harder. 

I am bit disappointed in this email, as it don't seem as interesting as I thought.  Maybe it is because I am bit sleepy and it is not like if I am writing in the morning.  I probably would have more time in the morning, but I just felt like writing right now.  At least do something!

But I know there are few on my contact list who wouldn't be too interested in Christian viewpoint.  They may be agnostic or anything, but I am simply sending a Christmas cheer to all my friends. 

Yes, I still work at Keystone Koating, the branch of Paul B. Zimmerman.  And yes, I still live with Jay Edwin Zimmernan, renting a room from him.  That much, there isn't much change.  In technology, there are few changes in my life.  In Christian life, I am more subdued now and more serious.  I want to change from my questionable ways, but I don't want to change too drastically as to frighten my friends.  Rather, I would change when I can prove drastic changes.

I would love to stay and visit at Martin's family reunion and I know I would wish the same at Burkholder's family reunion.  But the biggest issue is that I don't understand what was talked about.  Being heavily saturated in the deaf world the last few years, I have experienced a better life.  Hearing people are content to just sit and chat, while I may wish to play.  It is merely because I can be included in a good game of cards rather than in intercommunciation.  I would admit that being in Martin's family reunion awaken my dormant desire of being a hearing. 

While everyone I know may decry that idea, but somehow my wishes for hearing ability didn't fully diminished.  Especially since I realize that God will answer our prayers in Jesus' Name, I also realize the possibility of becoming hearing in this present life.  Just my conflicting, seemingly noble, feelings is that I don't want too dramatic a change like becoming hearing and prefer the idea to listen to what others are saying that healing from deafness is not for everyone, probably less of all, me. Still, I get the feeling that God would get far greater glory if I did acquire hearing enough to shake the world.

Not willing to vary and having less tolerance for differing views, I rather keep quiet about it, but am glad for any prayers and thoughts you have.

And I would appreciate prayers concerning my safety as I travel to Texas with my family to visit my sister.  While I have mix feelings toward that trip, I expect I would be glad for the experience.

Again, MERRY CHRISTMAS!  I would like to update my contact list, so I would appreciate if you would tell me your fax number, house address, and email address.  Of course, I am fully aware that my friends in Virginia aren't willing to answer my faxes, especially those who goes to Pleasant Valley church.  I have had faxed to them few times, but it is like dead end.

May God bless you all.

-----
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road