Burky's Blog

For weeks, I am bit confused. I still am confused, to say the least. I have more to say in the last post, but I was writing that in an email that I intend to send out to my e-newsletter list. And I want to write in what I didn't want anyone to know.

But I don't know if Mark would have access to this website and he probably read it. But for some reason, I suspect he is not interested in me enough to want to read my blogs. But maybe he would surprise me. Whatever, he never said a word if he did or not.

But anyway. Three weeks ago, I decided to put on www.deafvp.com my listing. I put all means of contact on there as usual, and didn't expect that the next day I would be bombarded on all sides from girls seeking for a life companions. I am not for online dating; I never was much for that. So that evening I decided to delete all means but left on MSN. Because I figured people would try to email to that hotmail account of mine and I don't care if I would get spam in that account. But not in my Gmail account. No thanks.

Oh that reminds me, I am noticing that spam folder is losing emails. 30 days are up, so they are automatically deleting my Spam emails from the folder. And it really make me wonder if I am not getting spam as much as I did at first. That would be nice; that's for sure.

But back to the story three weeks ago, a girl, or so she imposted as thus, by the name of Mandy Schley, talked to me on AIM. We were talking about trivial things, and suddenly after I mentioned that my job is not my dream job, she started telling me about a job offer. A online business. Now that's my dream, and to think I would work part-time. She put so much pressure on me so I did buy the business. I paid $500 in two weeks, and then I ask for assurance that I won't need to pay any more money to get that promised $3000 on the following Friday. She did assure me and then I even ask if I can start right away as soon as I paid, even if it means before I get $3000.

I did my share, but she didn't keep her promise. She ask me to pay $300 for closure fees, and I got adamant that I won't pay anymore. They can easily deduct $300 from my $3000. But they won't do it. So I knew that something isn't right. Of course, I didn't pay $300 more and of course also, I didn't get $3000. It really lead me to believe that it is scam, nothing less.

Shortly after that heated discussion we have had last Thursday evening, I got an email in hotmail account about people in Nigeria have a government force that capture the scammers and put them in the slammer. I start to think about informing them about I had to send my $250 to Funso Petro.

I didn't do that yet, tho.

But I am seriously thinking of it, even tho I do wonder if I will.

I explain so clearly to Mandy Schley why I did what I did. And she affirms about "With God nothing is impossible" I agreed with her, and reminded her about it when I explain what I believe. I didn't hear from her since. I believe that's the end of the story about that scam that I fell for recently.

Increasingly, I am feeling burdened that I must pray without ceasing. I have been wanting to for years, and why do I keep putting it off? Oh why, when I decided to stick to my knees, I get the fidgety feeling to get going again? It sure is hard to stay on my knees, not knowing what to expect except an answer from God Himself. But one of these days I would have to. I would just have to die to self.

And I did think about my Grandmother's 89th birthday last Thursday, but I didn't do anything to send or assure her of this. Oh God, what is happening to me?!

Anyway, I went to bank yesterday and beg for Overdraft Honor. That way I can overdraw my account by ATM, and keep up my bills.

I am seriously thinking of keeping my bills paid. I even got a note from Jay's mom, asking for a little something for my laundry. I sure wish Jay would have his own laundry tools, but apparently he didn't see the need or don't want to do it, thinking it is a woman's job.

O well, it feels better to write down that musings I have been having down, but no one would need to know...unless Mark have read it.

I sure wish Mark would tell me if he really read my emails and such, but he is so quiet. It is mainly that is the reason why I feel he isn't that interested in me.

Oh well, it is nice and cloudy today, and we are talking about going to Buck tonight. So I am taking easy all day today Saturday. I have been surfing through the Webshots and enjoying the pictures. I am seriously thinking of putting all the Webshots pictures onto the DVD and have it on Julia's computer. Of course, I would have to delete the pictures that she may find offensive.