Burky's Blog

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Omar Burkholder <deafdemophile@gmail.com>
Date: Sep 1, 2007 9:57 AM
Subject: Update....August 26 and September 1
To: Andrew Zelinski <andbarzel@gmail.com>, Brian Zelinski <brianzelinski@gmail.com >, David Perfect <maandpa@shentel.net>, Enos Burkholder <sonyjay25411@aol.com>, Janet Martin < janetm@abcmailbox.net>, Joel Reed <jfreed@dejazzd.com>, Julia Burkholder <juliaburky@abcmailbox.net>, Ken and Linda Akers < lindash33@verizon.net>, Kenny <khmcgee@hotmail.com>, Linda Sue Hoff <birdofire1@yahoo.com >, Lisa Ciccarelli <goofyski@tmail.com>, Mark Shenk <shenkm@gmail.com>, Maynard Bauman < xj.13@hotmail.com>, Nathan & Ruth Burkholder <13014324145@myfax.com>, Nelson Zimmerman <17174450515@myfax.com>, Paul Clark < deflyingboy@gmail.com>, "Tammie (belcher)" <trmnb2003@yahoo.com>, Lisa Ciccarelli < Goofy1965@verizon.net>

It is Sunday morning, and I should get my dishes washed.  It is soaking in the hot water anyway, so it would be easier to wash.  But one thing about the dishwashing detergent...I must have put too much in, because it make things slippery.  I don't like it too slippery.

I am having a slight headache, that I had from yesterday.  I do wonder if my headache comes from sudden impact of water, insufficient sleep, or not eating as I should?  So this morning I decided to take peppermint oil, in hope to alleviate the discomfort. 

I should do this update awhile back, but I was feeling bit too lazy about it.  Perhaps it would do to keep quiet about what I am going to do, so people won't bother me how was my weekend.  I wasn't in the best mood to talk about the weekend in the cabin, but now I am OK with it.  But now I should go back to do the dishes.

Dishes are done, and I put more peppermint oil in my nape and on my forehead.  I felt bit better, but it isn't the best.  Perhaps I need more sleep, I dunno.

The weekend in cabins went well.  It's just that I felt somewhat a misfit, because I am not that crazy for biking along the creek.  I am more for walking.  And then I like the quiet solitude.  But people worry if I decided to snuck off somewhere alone.  I guess if I am with group of people, for the means of deaf reunion or party, I should not do that.  I don't like it if my friends would do that, so why should I do any different?  But if something is bothering me or if I am uncomfortable about something, I prefer to be alone.

Well, one thing I have known for a long time is that life's greatest joys comes from people and life's greatest pain comes from people.  This month, since I am 30, it seems like I keep facing more pain than joys from people, so I am starting to understand why that lone ranger sit atop a mountain in Yellowstone would love his job.  No interaction with people.  While you may miss out life's greatest joys, you enjoy more of a sedated peace.  Everything goes smooth.

I am more for a beach than mountains, but I grew up in Mennonite lifestyle, and in pursuit of acquiring friends in the deaf world, I find myself friends with other deaf men who also grew up in Mennonite lifestyle and they are so different from me.  One could wonder if I was born and raised in Mennonite lifestyle but with the heart for non-Mennonite lifestyle.  Anyway, it is wonderful that I was friends with Mark for a while.  He taught me many things, but I felt more confused about who and what am I.  And I never regret that I went to Belize.

Right now, I am in tight fix.  I have some longing for college, but then again, I would like to live in Belize.  For awhile, I thought I would like to live in South Dakota, where they are dreaming for a deaf town.  Now that dream is dropped, and Marvin Martin is looking for another spot.  Then as Mark's friend, I would like to live in south of Lancaster.  That would give me some benefit as I would be living closer to my aunt's place.  But now, I am longing for Belize.

So what should I do now?  College or Belize?  Or should I go to college first, then go to Belize? 

However, right now I know I must continue a bit in PA.  I sure hate that heavy traffic I have to face everyday on 322.  I keep wanting a job I can do at home and on Internet.

Oh, I didn't say too much about cabin.  I know Lisa would bug me for more details.  Friday morning, we left early.  I was fanatic about my ugly hair, so I ask Jay's mom to barber me.  She didn't do very good job, so I figure she must be too old for it.  So I decided to try on my own.  I did get it the way I want it to look, although I cut it shorter than I first planned.

Jay, Paul, Vicky, and I all went in Jay's truck; and we follow Leon all the way to the cabin.  We stopped at Perkins on the way, and met Ricky's there.  We had a good time dining and talking.

Upon our arrival, we find Irvin Fox waiting for us.  I have the keys, so we got into the cabin.  It was very hot in there, so everyone went opening all the windows.  Then we single men try to find where the other cabin that we plan to sleep.  When we finally found where the cabin is, we were in disbelief.  It is too nice a cabin in comparison to where the parties are.  Still the key I have fit and opened the door for us.

It is a very nice log cabin.  But green-eyed monster wouldn't allow single men to sleep in there.  Finally, the final plans was that Ricky and Leon sleep in two nice rooms with their wives.  The boys sleep upstairs and the girls sleep in the basement.  Irvin Fox slept in the room right beside the kitchen.

We play Rook, the boys.  Then Charlene lead out the game of Snitz.  I would like to play more of that and also Liverpool, but I am Rook addict, I fear.

Saturday morning, bright and early.  It is very beautiful day.  I thought I was planning to ride bike that morning, but because my sisters were there, so I thought it would a good opportunity to talk with them.  But I saw my sisters ran off with bunch of girls, hiking. So I decided to relax on the deck with my laptop.  To my dismay, I found out that my Microsoft Works no longer works.  So I had to settle with WordPad and use it to write down my thoughts....

" Dear friends, it is a beautiful Saturday morning.  I am relaxing on the deck.  Every one was out for the hiking.  I should have went hiking, but I was thinking how nice it was here.  I was thinking how Mark said it was relaxing to have a whole week doing nothing.  I never had that experience.  Yellowstone isn't doing nothing, but hiking with a heavy backpack.  A whole week?!  Now I have only Saturday morning.  Mark is fasting from his laptop for a week; I have done that years ago for 40 days (or so I understood).  Now I felt that I don't really idolize my laptop.  I can do without it, but one thing I am trying to think if I can do without my friends.  True, the Bible talks about fasting from food, and it is understood that fasting means being focused on one thing.  Like for example, when Jesus fast, He is focused on finding out about himself and being connected to God.  Indians talks about isolation for introspective purposes, and it is same with Buddhism or whatever Eastern culture had. 

So I am sitting on the deck this cool Saturday morning, relaxing with laptop on my lap.  It feels good to be out here, so peaceful and quiet.  Sure, they may think I am idiotic to be out here alone.  Especially since we planned this weekend for deaf reunion and fun times.  But I felt I need time alone

I keep hearing some sounds, and I wonder what is going on.  Sounds like shotguns.  At least I know no one is intending to kill me. 

(Censored)  I never dream I would ever find a girl of my striking similiaries, and yet she turns me down.  I have told Charlene and some others that if 8th girl told me no, I will never marry again.  Well, I have asked (censored) and I am not backing down.  Sure, I will let her go, and she would never suspect that I am still mindset on her.  I think since I cannot control her by my letters, surely I can pray until my faith can move the mountains.

Oh God, I long for some peace and quiet.  No Internet access here, so I am bit unable to do things I can do.  So I think I will set up my laptop so I can do more.  Like for example, emails by Outlook and more of photo programs and my BB programs should work together too.

I told Mark that since Internet give me so much information that it is almost unnecessary to have programs.  Well, basking here in the beautiful Saturday morning, being cool and breezy, proves me wrong.  I thought it was interesting how Jay and Ricky both prefers mountains over the beach, and how I prefer beach.  With all my city friends, I get the impression that country hicks would prefer mountains, whereas city slickers would prefer beach life.  In fact, there is more life at the beach than in the mountains.  More people.  Bars.  And all.  Internet access too.

Looks like 40 people came for the weekend.  It is nice to see all my friends from the former deaf world.  It is also nice to see my sisters too.  My lifestyle is really becoming demanding, and I am starting to miss my Virginian lifestyle.  I should have brought a novel along.

Well, I am out of things to write about.  Just to say that we were looking for a cabin so we can sleep last night.  I was the one who took the lead to look for it.  I finally found the cabin, and was so excited how nice it is, but jealousy took control of women, that Ricky's and Leon's got to sleep there after all.  I couldn't help but think about how Amy and Alma got what they wanted.  I guess I have people bowing down to my whims way too often when I am growing up and it is time for me to bow down to others. 

I have been trying to bow down to God, but found it so difficult....

Methinks I will take a stroll now.  Alone."

I did go for a stroll, but Leon found me.  I was hoping to walk the opposite way, so I won't happened on my friends.  Alas I didn't know which way they went, so here I went the same way they went.  Then eventually I met up with my sisters and we walked back to the cabin together. 

It certainly is a beautiful day.  I was happy that God blessed us with a beautiful day.  We got to the cabin and enjoy our dinner of mountain pies.  I had mine without much meat, so it was a nice for change.  I am getting tired of so much meat that my friends I am with lived on.

Sunday morning I preached about creation and that God give us the power to control over the world.  I should ask Leon for that video and post it on Internet so my friends can look at it.

Saturday evening we had a frolic time after the supper of hot dogs.  We play Rook and some play Snitz.  Finally it was too late to reasonably continue in Rook game, Paul and I decided to go upstairs.  Then we start throwing stuff at each other, because the upstairs are open with only half walls.  We did have fun that night.

Monday evening I drove to see that house that I thought it would nice to buy if I am rich.  I wish to buy that house as it is located along the creek where Mark grew up playing.  I thought if I am rich, I would buy that house and give to Mark for him to live in.  But I am not rich, so I didn't buy it.  I didn't even stay long to find out how much the cost.  I should think that price is staggering, because it is very nice house.  Four bedroom and each have it own bathroom!  I never seen a private home like that.  It was raining hard that evening.

When I was driving there, I skidded on the wet road and bumped into the car in front of me.  I was relieved to find that I didn't cause any damage.  Of course, I was talking on my Blackberry, which is unsafe in rainy weather.  I almost thought of telling Mark to come over to the house and look at it, as it is just up the road from Mark's house. 

Oh, it is a beautiful house.  With 3 acres, I should have enough to have a big garden.  With rainy weather, I always feel the mood to stay in the house, and being in that house surely make me wish to have a office at home right there.  Where the residents have their computer, it is right beside the sliding doors to the deck and that gives a nice view of rainy weather outside.  I sure envied that office.  And they even have a office right beside the master bedroom.  Oh, God, just let me be rich just once and buy that home.  But I would be even more happy if I get to build my own house.

August 22, Wednesday morning I got up early.  I woke up at 3:30 so to take Jay Edwin to the Baltimore airport.  He flew to Oklahoma to stay for a week.  I promise my boss to get back to my work at 11 AM, but I arrived there at 8 with few stops for a snooze.

Ah, a week alone in my home!  Thursday evening I talk with Mary Jo Bartosh on VideoPhone and I had fun talking with her.  She keep wishing to visit her sister, Amy.  She ask me how much it cost to buy tickets for train or for bus.  The fare came up rather close, only 50 cents difference.  Still, I thought train is much more fun and a little cheaper, so I secretly bought it and email it to myself and Amy.  I should have forward it to Mary Jo, but I didn't have her email address.

And my, Mary Jo and Amy was so excited about Mary Jo is coming to Lancaster on September 9.

I relaxed well on Friday afternoon into evening.  I got to watch all rented movies, and took a walk.  It is so relaxing to be alone.

Saturday I slept in late and then went to Hersheypark alone.  It was kind of fun to be free to do whatever I want, rather than see if my company agrees.

Saturday evening it downpour rain, and I was disappointed to miss the fireworks, celebrating Hersheypark's 100th year.  That means Hersheypark has been around as long as Great-great aunt Edith Burkholder has been alive.  But at least I got to see the Broadwalk.  Hopefully soon, I will get to experience more of water fun there.  Maybe next summer.

On way home I stopped to wash my clothes at the laundromat.  It was rather late and I was so sleepy.  I put the clothes in the washer and then go went to Wal-mart to wait out the time.  After putting my clothes in dryer, I slept in my car to wait out the time.  Here, I slept too long, and I was awaken by a cop.  He realized later that I am deaf and couldn't hear the knocking of whatever he tried to do.  But his flashlight is what woke me.  I was embarrassed, but was puzzled why he had to do that. Do theives or troublemakers frequent at that laundromat?  I don't know.

After retrieving my laundry, I went straight home.  When I got everything in the house, I realized that I forgot to turn off the lights inside the car.  So I went back to turn it off, and saw that same cop came to my house.  Oh he has my wallet, but I sure felt like I was stalked.  He left, and I was puzzled over this, but trust nothing will come out of this.

Sunday morning I went to Crossroad Christian Fellowship.  It was interesting to see Jacklyn Kreider interpret and she did a good job.  But the preacher really touch the subject that is very dear to me.  What stood out to me was what he said that the Bible mentions things will happen, not maybe.  I have known that for long time, so it is nothing new.  But it is refreshing to be reminded, especially when faced with unbelieving Christians everyday, which make me prefer not to talk about my convictions of Christian living.  And recently I thought of something.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 is part of God's will for everyone of us, but do we really practice it?  We may interpret it to mean that we should live a life of prayer. What hits me is what if everyone took it literally and do it?  Chances we will pray mightily and change the world as we know it.

Monday evening I was puttering around on my computer.  I had a sudden inspiration to see if I could start a business on my computer.  Tuesday evening I thought I better get the lawn mowed before I pick up Jay on Wednesday evening.  I drove home from work and got message from a Belizean girl.  A girl from Spanish Lookout by name of Chris...and I guess her last name is Koop.  I am not sure, but she say she don't know me.  But she knows Fermin Cal.

She told me that Fermin got fired, because he only come when he feels like it.  I felt sorry for him, but I wish he would learn to go to work no matter what.  After all, he is the only one that keep touch with me by computer.  Jeovani did few times, but Fermin does it the most.  I felt kinship with those who talk with me alot on Instant Messaging.  What's more, Fermin even have Gmail.  I like it when my friends have Gmail account, because that means I can chat with them and get that chat history saved in my Gmail account.

Then when I thought I am done talking with her, I got MSN from Elvira Nunez, Ben Trujillo's sister.  Everything is fine with him, I am glad to hear that.  Ben is working for construction.  I felt sorry to hear that, because he said he likes easy work but earn well.  He did try driving trucks for awhile, and I sure wonder why he stopped.  I am glad to hear that he has a girlfriend in Belize.  I hope that he forget about going to USA.

But that brings me other flashbacks.  I remember why Ben want to come to America.  He came to learn.  But because green card is not that easy to get and schools that accept him without green card is pricey.  That gives me a longing to go back to Belize and have English classes for the deaf down there.

After done talking with Elvira and Chris on MSN, I checked my email.  Fermin invite me to join onto his Xanga account.  I didn't use it, but I sure wish he would use MySpace or Facebook.  Chris have Facebook, but so far, I didn't see her as my friend yet.  Maybe Joel would read this and convince all the boys, especially Fermin and Jeovani to have MySpace, so I can know what's going on with them.  And I know those two boys would love to have a free account like that.  But maybe Facebook would be better, as Joel's friend, Paul Clark, has that.  And it is easier to get networks done on Facebook.  It would be so nice if CDI would have a network on there, so we can keep each other posted on what's going on with each other, all former staff and now.  Also the students too.

After done talking with Elvira, I went out to mow the lawn.  It was dark when I finally got done.  When I returned to my home, I saw that I got a call from Nelson Zimmerman.  I called him on TDD, and was glad to see my TDD program working.  We chatted a bit, and I told him about deaf supper at Hahnstown School. 

Wednesday evening I went to pick up Jay.  I saw that MySpace do have Belizeans on there.  I was surfing around about Belize, because as I mow the lawn, I start brainstorming about going to Belize.

I think I found a niche in my life.  It is like Jacklyn says on her Facebook--well, it is her favorite quote, the same quote I have read before--"Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. Go for that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive." (Harold Whitman).  When I think about living in Lancaster County, I don't feel alive like I do when I think about living in Belize.

Anyway, I did find Belizean group on MySpace and I also found Belize network on Facebook.  And I thought we do need a network for CDI on Facebook.  I tried inviting some, but none applied.  Even Reynold say something about he don't understand Internet very well.  Well, they have someone down there who would understand--Joel Reed--and they can ask him for help.

And it also make me feel alive to dream about having an Internet business.  Yesterday afternoon I tried to find some online counselling and some online sign language tutoring, also online or virtual English class for deaf online...and I couldn't find any...not one.

I knew that I will have the cutting edge here, so with less competition, I can make money good enough to live on if live in Belize, especially consider how many deaf people would use Internet.  I even thought of teaching sign language in Belize for pay.  What's more, I was surprised at how much it cost to get online counselling.  Talk about $30 for mere email!  Here I was thinking more like $20 for a hour.  But I suppose that it takes me hours to write this one email. <Smile>

Last Sunday evening, I went to Andy Zelinski's house and we play croquet.  It is my first experience to play that game, and I saw it for the first time alive in Belize.  So it is interesting experience to play it.  It did get dark when we finally are done, but Mark did win. 

After the game, Andy and I got inside and we talked awhile.  I was telling Andy this dream of mine, and he said that sounds good.  He said he even thought of doing that for teaching Spanish online.  I got an inspiration that I can start an Internet business with Andy and Mark.  Just think Andy knows sign language, so he can teach deaf people to read, write, and maybe speak Spanish, and Mark has computer know-how, so he can be my assistant to teach deaf people online how to use computers.

But I didn't share that with anyone until now, mostly because Mark is too agnostic for me to share that dream with him.  I did say a bit about it with Leon last evening for the first time.

Now I am getting really serious about having an Internet business, and keeping in tab with friends.  Yesterday afternoon I even look at some Belizean estates for sale.  I even saw one land for sale, and man, I really covet that piece of the land.  Not far to Belize City, and few miles from cruise ship harbor, and good piece to have a garden, and build a fine home.  Being close to cruise harbor make it possible for my home to be a tourist's place.  I can easily have a hotel and restaurant, which can means a good business for deaf people in Belize.  The price?  Staggering millions! <grief>  362 acres with beach!  Oh please give it to me!

I wanted to pray all night last night, but Jay keep staying up late.  I don't know what time he went to bed, but I felt that Friday is my best chance to pray without ceasing until the dawn.  I want to pray that I can get a land in Belize, but first I want to pay off all my debts before I would move to Belize...or even travel to Belize.

Paul and I still brainstorm about going to Belize on January 30, but I want to pay off my debts first.  ....

.....still dreaming....

and praying....

Last evening was enjoyable enough.  I got to visit with Irvin Fox and few other people.  Sarah Louise, Delores, and Charlene are planning to go to First Deaf Church Sunday morning.  So I suppose I would see them there.  The supper was good.

Then I had an idea.  I kidded about going to Belize for one week, then go to Hawaii for one week, then return home.  Over all ticket?  $879.  Not bad.  Alaska included?  $1280!  Oh ouch. 

Oh dear, I must pay off my debts first!

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767
SMS:   717-538-9648
Phone: 1-800-541-7172

--
Omar Burkholder
1091 Martindale Road
Ephrata, PA 17522

Email:  deafdemophile@gmail.com
Fax:     1-888-580-1767
SMS:   717-538-9648
Phone: 1-800-541-7172